Cliff Notes

This is how it’s going to work. We will NOT go off the cliff. The Congress and the White House will reach a miraculous agreement at the last minute, at least to kick the can down the road into 2013. The finger-pointing may not turn into handshaking and back-slapping, but everyone will feel pretty good about themselves. The stock market will go up hundreds of points, and the New Year will begin on a high note.

There’s still a lot that’s wrong with this picture. Once the problem is solved, it will be back to business as usual. We will be so relieved that we won’t remember what the folks in Washington put us through. It has happened before, and will likely happen in the future when similar issues arise. We are so used to this dysfunction that it feels normal. That’s the dangerous part.

Just so you know where I stand on the chief sticking point, which seems to be a number, I do not consider those with annual incomes of $250,000 “wealthy.” Comfortable, yes – a lot of folks would rejoice to have that much coming in – but wealthy, no. At least the Republicans tried to put a number on the table. And once a number is on the table, you’d think there’s room for negotiation.

I have another problem with word usage: “entitlement” programs. The E word is pejorative, because it brings to mind people who don’t deserve something feeling as if they’re owed. But in the case of Social Security, for example, they ARE owed – they paid into this system while they were working. That said, I personally wouldn’t be opposed to some sort of means testing. If someone really is wealthy, they probably wouldn’t miss the relative pittance they get back from SS. Since in general, we’re living longer, it probably is time to gradually raise the retirement age as well.

I must confess I haven’t read Simpson-Bowles through, but Republicans and Democrats shouldn’t feel the need to re-invent a wheel that people with real brains spent time coming up with. At the very least, it should serve as a framework for discussion.

But to return to this moment, let’s try hard to remember the pain we’re in right now, and figure out how we can make Washington feel this pain when the next cliff looms.

And BTW, I don’t know what I’ll do the next time I hear someone say “déjà vu all over again.” I bet even Yogi would tell you he’s heard that once too often. All I can do is issue a warning: you don’t want to be in the same county with me if that happens.

Still Here

The solstice came and went, uneventfully, in spite of predictions attributed to the poor misunderstood Mayans. I still have to wrap Christmas gifts and still have to pay American Express. The Fiscal Cliff remains.

One of the things forecast to happen was the flipping of polarity, either on the Earth or the Sun. I thought, maybe something did happen. Maybe Republicans turned into Democrats, for example, and red states turned blue. But of course, it would have to happen the other way, right? It didn’t, but even if it had, polarity’s polarity, after all. I was almost hoping a polarity flip would reverse my moral compass and that I’d be on my way to Vegas right now, but that’s not happening, either.

No, the End is going to continue to be a limited group experience, or for some people, an individual one. I’m hearing this song from the’60s in my head, sung by Tennessee’s Skeeter Davis, accent and all:

Whah does the sun go on shahning?
Whah does the sea rush to shore?
Don’t they know, it’s ind of the world
‘Cause yew don’t love me anymore…..

Then there’s that other song from the later ‘60s, growled by Barry McGuire:

And you tell me, over and over and over again my friend
You don’t believe, we’re on the Eve of Destruction…

(Actually, shoulda been singing that one yesterday.)

Life not only goes on – it’s actually beginning for millions who are being born on this day. They’ll be able to tell their grandchildren that they came into the world on Doomsday. Even Mayans, or their descendants are having babies.

But enough of all this eschatological talk. Going back to gift-wrapping. BTW, if you see seven guys in the sky with wings blowing trumpets, then we’ve got something to talk about. Otherwise, just leave a message when you hear the beep. Thanks!

Final Thoughts?

Remote as the possibility may seem to some – even me – this could very well be my last post in this space if the Mayans and various doomsayers are right. So what have I got to say for myself?

I haven’t lived a spectacular life by modern standards, but it’s been a pretty good ride. I’d have to give it a B-minus. That, of course, is an average. The highs were high and the lows were low, and no, I’m not bipolar and temporarily off my meds.

I’m glad I have been alive for this particular span of years. It feels like I have one foot planted way back when, almost before TV, and the other firmly planted in the current age of communication miracles. And I have friends from a wide span of age groups, which has been very enriching.

There are many things I would do over again if given the chance, like many of you, but for the most part, I made the best decisions I could with the information available at the time. The things I regret mostly involve having treated people badly, and it would be nice to be able to go back and make amends. The only downside of that process is that I’ve actually tried it on a number of occasions, and most of the victims have no recollection of the rotten way I behaved toward them. It’s not like they ever forgave me, they just forgot about whatever it was and moved on. Maybe that’s the best payback for someone who hates to be ignored.

They say that no matter how fine a human being you have been or think you have been, there are always about 10 percent of those you meet who just won’t like you. In my experience, this is another average. I found myself in some places where it seemed everyone loved me to death, and in others where I couldn’t get arrested.

According to the stats page, this blog has had just under 6,000 clicks over a period of about four years -- not exactly viral -- but I’m grateful to all of you who have visited here from all over the world. I’m only sorry I couldn’t help those looking for porn or knockoff Vuitton. But if I’m still here Saturday, or posting from the “other side,” stay tuned. You never know what a desperate writer will do to attract readers.

Mental Cases

First we were talking gun control, now we’re talking mental health. It’s certainly true that anyone who picks up an assault weapon and shoots up an elementary school has obviously fallen through some sort of crack in our health care system. But I’m curious to know how exactly this is going to be fixed.

One obvious remedy, as it is to many of life’s problems, is more money – in this case, to offer more access to mental health services. The only problem is, the potentially dangerous people we hope to control don’t necessarily want more access to health services. They usually have to be forced to take advantage of them. If they’re adults, who’s going to do the forcing? Will therapists get more authority to commit people? What kinds of behavior will cause that kind of response?

In the absence of facts in the Newtown case, which are slow to come out (or slower than cable news would like), the talking heads are filling time discussing autism, schizophrenia and other conditions. Parents of autistic children are already worried that this syndrome is being stigmatized as one that could lead to the mayhem that we saw last week. One of the signs, according to the discussion I heard, is “lack of empathy.” So people who aren’t empathetic, who lack social skills, or maybe just prefer to be alone instead of joining the crowd, may be suspicious? How exactly are we going to screen for this, and what are we going to do with that information? Gun control may be politically difficult, but it’s way easier than this issue, and now I'm getting a little nervous.

It reminds me of one of my favorite lines from a horror movie of the 1930s, in which one attendant at an English insane asylum says to another, “Sometimes, I think everyone around here is crazy, except for me and for you. And then again, I has me doubts about you!”

Pieces of the Puzzle

The call for gun control following the Newtown, Connecticut shooting, while producing the expected backlash from gun enthusiasts and Constitutional fundamentalists, has also brought reminders that limiting access to assault weapons and mega-magazines won’t eliminate massacres. Improved school security is a natural component, though the challenge is finding ways of making schools safer without turning them into fortresses.

There are those who blame violent movies, TV and video games for poisoning people’s minds. And then there’s the issue of mental health. There are a lot of unstable people out there – including people who seem fine today but could go off the deep end tomorrow if their buttons were pushed. The now-viral blog post, “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother” details the struggles of a woman trying to deal with a mentally disturbed and sometimes violent son, and how few options there are for helping him, or even controlling him, short of jail. Civil liberties often interfere with what seem like wise and timely intervention efforts.

While gun control proponents may be focusing on only one piece of the puzzle, tossing all the other pieces on the table in a big heap should not be an excuse for paralysis. It’s true that people kill people, but why should the marketplace make it easy for them by supplying assault weapons and huge bullet magazines? It’s logical to start with gun regulation. Difficult as this issue is politically, it’s actually the easiest one for us to get our heads around at this moment. Adam Lanza’s real mother owned guns, including the Bushmaster assault-weapon wannabe, to which her son was able to get access.

Guns do have their function. It certainly reasonable for those concerned about self-defense to have a means of doing so – as long as their own need is reasonable (there’s that dangerous R word again).

But if you want to talk about the really big picture, why are guns the American symbol of power to the chronically powerless, and how can we change that perception? Once we find that puzzle piece, many of the others will fall into place.

The Moral Cliff

We’ve been spending a lot of time talking about the fiscal cliff, but the Newtown shooting has revealed a moral one. Now is the time to consider reasonable gun regulation. “Reasonable” is a dangerous word, but I’m willing to bet that the majority of Americans know what that means in this case.

As I’ve said many times, we accept regulations in many areas of life. Traffic laws are a great example. They affect most of us, and typically, they are clearly understood. And experience makes them reasonable. If there were a traffic signal or stop sign at every intersection, there would be gridlock. But there would also be gridlock if there were no controls at all. Effective regulation actually makes traffic flow better. You can’t leave this one up to human nature. Liberty is a very lofty concept, but we agree to give up some of it to improve the functions of daily life.

I am not opposed to the right to bear arms, but it should be plain that there is no reasonable need for civilians in the United States to own functioning automatic or semi-automatic weapons, or huge magazines that allow scores of bullets to be fired. And background checks should be required at all gun-sale venues, including gun shows. If we could work on just these issues, we’d be solving a lot of the problem.

Some feel that one of the answers lies in improving security at places like schools. But while Newtown has resulted in great psychological trauma for children, turning elementary schools into armed camps will have effects too. It’s about balance.

In the Old West, it was reasonable for almost everyone to own a gun, because there was a reasonable fear that individuals would be called upon often to defend themselves. This isn’t the Wild West anymore, unless we allow it to be.

I’m tired of hearing that we can’t move this ball forward because the gun lobby is too strong and that members of Congress have to take money from it because they need to get reelected, and that’s just the way life is. But it doesn’t have to be that way all the time. At some point, if you’ll forgive the metaphor mix, the dog is going to have to decide that the tail isn’t going to wag it anymore.

Always the Gun

This is America, home of apple pie. Then there’s the other thing. How much more convincing do we need that it’s time to do something about it?

From a practical point of view, it’s impossible to regulate intentions. People are going to be bullied, or jilted by their girlfriends, mistreated by an employer they’ve served faithfully for decades, you name it. There’s always going to be a motive or, if you like, a trigger, that will make someone pick up a gun and take out their rage on innocent people. In the case of the Connecticut shooting, there couldn’t be more innocent targets than elementary school children.

If you can’t regulate intentions, then you have to move on to what you can regulate: the means. Can anyone today seriously advance the argument that civilians need access to semi-automatic weapons with magazines, and if anyone does advance that argument, how many can seriously accept it? Today! How many blows of the 2-by-4 do we need before we get the message?

Being practical again: Sweeping bans on common behavior don’t work. If you’ve been watching “Boardwalk Empire,” you can see why Prohibition was a failure. So if you want to deal with guns, you have to do things in pieces, and you have to accept that it’s going to take time – but the important part is, you get started. It’s an evolutionary, not a revolutionary process.

We actually have had success at this in many fields. Smoking is one of the best examples. All over the country, we have laws restricting where people can smoke, and there are fewer and fewer places where it’s legal to do it. The fact that these regulations are in place is reflective of the fact that smoking just isn’t cool anymore. Considering that this habit was brought to the civilized world hundreds of years ago, we’ve come a long way in a relatively short time toward eliminating it, but it seems like forever.

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of hearing about the psychological state of demented perpetrators, how sad a day it is, listening to more grieving families, and how we all have to keep folks in our thoughts and prayers. Thinking deeply and praying are very good, but what’s even better is realizing that we can take practical steps toward preventing these incidents, and now, we have the opportunity.

It will be a challenge. There’s something else just as American as apple pie and guns. It’s the short attention span. Will we care as much about enacting effective gun laws in 48 hours as we do today?

Practical Jokes Aren't Jokes At All

I have often quipped that there should be the death penalty for those who perpetrate practical jokes. I never found them funny, especially, of course, when I was the victim. The humiliation – and the rage – stayed with me a long time, maybe longer than for most.

This could be hereditary. I remember when my mother was the target of a “Candid Camera” TV stunt in a New York supermarket. The nature of it escapes me, but the crew, of course, was hoping she’d have a sense of humor and be a good sport about the whole thing. She did not. When asked if she would sign the release to allow the bit to be broadcast, she not only refused, but stamped her foot while doing so. That meant she was REALLY mad.

Many of us are rightly outraged and disappointed at the two Australian DJs who pretended to be Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles calling into a hospital about the condition of the pregnant Princess Kate. They talked to a nurse, who gave them some personal medical information about the royal, and the interview was broadcast. The nurse was later found dead, an apparent suicide.

The incident is being investigated, but it’s hard to avoid what looks like the obvious conclusion that the nurse’s death was an unintended consequence of the hoax. It could be argued that the nurse must have had other emotional issues percolating inside her and that no reasonable person in that situation would have taken her own life. But how can the perpetrators of this practical joke ever be sure that it wasn’t their action that pushed this woman over the edge?

The DJs involved, who were the subject of death threats themselves, have since tearfully apologized. But the CEO of the parent company of the radio station, while (according to the Huffington Post) admitting the incident was tragic, said such jokes were a standard part of radio culture.

As a former radio broadcaster myself, that’s not a standard I’d be publicly accepting. If that’s anywhere close to true, the industry better start doing some heavy navel-gazing about now.

Got Your Number

OK, everybody, knock it off!

I got it. It’s 12.12.12, and this is supposed to mean something. The Bible is full of 12s – 12 tribes of Israel, 12 apostles. There are 12 inches in a foot. We buy eggs by the dozen. 12 dozens is a gross.

Why must we humans heap meanings on things that really have only one? 12 by itself is a NUMBER. That’s where it begins and ends. It may have interesting mathematical properties. So have a good time, but don’t get exercised about it.

Apparently, 12 has lots of significance in Judeo-Christian culture, but there are other cultures. From what I read, the big number in China is 8, so couples jumped through hoops to get married on 8.8.08.

A numerologist once told me on a radio show that my life path number was 5. I read that I’m supposed to be happy-go-lucky and adventurous. I am neither. The description says that I’m a good communicator. I’ll leave that up to the readership here.

It’s a little like astrology. You think you were born under a certain sign, and it may have worked as a pickup line in a bar in the ‘70s, but in fact, the sun apparently travels through two extra constellations these days, so what you think you are, you’re probably not.

To return to numbers, the only ones that have any great practical use for me these days are those in the bank account, the cholesterol count and perhaps the percentage of body fat. There may be one or two more.

But in the end, can at least some of us agree that this preoccupation with the meaning of numbers is all about having too much time on our hands?

Subway Morality Play: What Would YOU Have Done?

For the past week or so, the New York Post photographer who took the picture of the guy on the subway tracks about to be hit by the train has been peppered with questions which are all basically the same: So why didn’t you put down your camera and act like a human being, meaning, try to rescue the victim?

The photog, who gamely submitted to the interviews to defend his reputation, said he was too far away, wasn’t strong enough to pull the guy out and that he was using his camera flash to try to alert the driver of the oncoming train. You can believe him or not, but is all this beside the point?

Newspeople, by inclination or by training or both, tend to perform in certain ways during crises. I had a similar train thing happen to me earlier this year. I was in the lead car of a commuter train that struck a man on the tracks as the train was pulling into a station platform, an apparent suicide. Was I trying to comfort my shaken-up fellow passengers? No, I was on the phone to the city’s top news radio station, where I had worked part-time once.

My wife reminds of the time an early-morning 7-point earthquake struck, awakening us. Did I roll over to see if she was OK? No, she, said, I was on the phone to a national radio network even before the shaking stopped.

So do I have ice water running through my veins? If necessary, I’ll get a blood sample for you, but the bottom line is, I had always behaved this way as a news professional. Someone asked me about this once, and my answer was that when disaster struck, I was more fortunate than most, because I had a job to do.

As has been frequently pointed out by reporters like Anderson Cooper of CNN, most people have no clue about how they might react in a crisis until that crisis arrives. The average milktoast wimp might perform like a superhero, while sometimes those who are expected to lead shrivel up in terror at the prospect of making a life-or-death decision under extreme pressure.

You can go back to the Bible for a perfect example. Jesus expected Simon Peter to deny him three times, and even told him so, saying a rooster would crow after the third time. Peter assured Christ that he would always have his back. But as predicted, when the bad guys asked Peter if he knew Jesus, he said in effect, never heard of him, and the cock crowed. And yet, Jesus shortly thereafter founded his church, naming Peter (Greek for “rock”) its leader. Was that the behavior of a “rock”? Go figure.

To return to that New York subway scene, many others besides the Post photographer maybe could have helped the victim, but didn’t, instead taking their own smart-phone pictures. And then, of course, we might consider the New York Post editors, who, under much less pressure, decided to publish their photographer’s shocking photo on the front page.

We are all very complex creatures, and “acting like a human being” can, fortunately or unfortunately, have many meanings. But judging too quickly can be a dangerous business too.

Chemical Bashar

There it is: NBC reported today that Syria is loading chemical agents into bombs, presumably for use in a last stand if the regime of Bashar al-Assad is up against the ropes. Well, the ropes are in sight.

What exactly are we talking about here? One analyst reported on CNN tonight that one shell or one bomb dropped in a populated area could kill 18,000 people easily.

President Assad has pledged not to use this stuff on his own people. But if he thinks foreign-inspired terrorist invaders are involved – and his own survival is threatened – it’s believed he won’t hesitate. Some say even if he escapes from Syria, there’s little to stop his commanders from pulling triggers.

Of the “red line” drawn by President Obama against the use of these weapons, Senator John McCain said the administration was giving a “green light” to all atrocities short of their use. That green light wasn’t turned on this week. It’s been on for well over a year – and that’s why we have this situation now.

Some critics say the U.S. has been hyping this threat to provide a pretext for going in, just as was done with the WMD stories about Iraq 10 years ago that proved to be false. But there’s a big difference. President Bush was looking for any excuse he could find to invade Iraq. President Obama has been looking for any excuse he can find NOT to go into Syria. Except now, it seems he’s about run out of them.

Then there is the concern that if used, clouds of gas might waft into neighboring non-combatant countries, or that supplies of this stuff might fall into the hands of real terrorist organizations.

To be as potent as they are, these weapons had to be experimentally tested. I don’t think I want to know on what – or on whom.

It’s clear that we all have to keep our eyes fixed on this region, because the next few days could be dicey. I would say it’s not an exaggeration to suggest that those of us who are good at praying better get started.

"Getting" Twitter

Look, I’m not one of those old people who is being dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st Century. I’m all in favor of modern communications. As a ham radio operator, I was texting way before it was cool, as I may have mentioned to some of you. I leave Facebook running in the background while I work at home; I have no co-workers with this sort of a job, so with all its limitations and increasing spam, etc., FB is still a source of company.

I need help, though, with finding much of a general use for Twitter, other than one: for breaking news alerts, or for those who need to get a message out of a desperate place, there’s no question about its value. Or maybe to send an angry message to your member of Congress or something.

But is there anyone out there I feel the need to “follow”? I’m a huge fan of certain performers, but am perfectly happy to just watch their shows or listen to their music. Seriously, do I need to know what they’re thinking at any given moment? No, I can probably wait till their next show.

More to the point, it’s the Internet-age-old question: Does anyone really care what I’m doing or thinking at this moment? Why even ask? I have enough trouble getting people to read this blog. Some media outlets charge money for consuming their content. Heck, if I could afford it, I would reverse the process – PAY people to consume my content. But then, there’s the obligation to actually produce something worthy of the name “content.”

On NPR this morning, I heard of a growing trend to tweet while you’re watching TV. Apparently a large number of us can’t watch a show or a movie without having to discuss it instantly with other people. I’m exactly the opposite. I want the thing I’m watching to fully absorb me, which means I at least have to bring my attention into the bargain – and even then, of course, the thing I’m watching may lose me. Anyway, I’m perfectly happy to discuss the show AFTER I’ve seen it, but not DURING. There’s a reason they make you turn off your phone in movie theaters. And nobody seems to feel the need to talk about what they’re watching in such a setting. There’s no need to turn everything into a giant Super Bowl party, is there?

I hear now that even the Pope has a Twitter handle, and already has more than 300,000 followers, even though he has yet to send out his first tweet. Maybe it will give new meaning to the phrase “papal bull.” I guess if you tweet the Pope back, it might be a good idea not to kick it off with “OMG.”

Maybe the Catholic Church (to which I no longer adhere) will start using some of these platforms for online confessions. I’d clearly need more than 140 characters for any of my sins, but well, that’s, as they say, a whole ‘nother program.

All the World's a Stage

You may recognize that from Shakespeare. While I was in the shower a while back, I was inspired to add a little something to this. I recognize that the image of me being in the shower is probably not the most successful way to start off a post in this space, but here’s what came to me:

We all play parts on each other’s stages. Sometimes they’re lead roles, and sometimes minor ones. The minor ones are difficult, because if you’re like me, when you get on a stage, you want to be noticed; you want the critics to write good reviews about you. You’re tempted to overact, to take up more space or time on another’s stage than your role calls for.

That never works. If you’re smart, you know exactly what your role is, and you say the lines you’re given as best you can. Sometimes, you hear your cue to get off – time to leave the stage and maybe go sit in the audience and clap at the end for the stars as they take their curtain call. It’s all about minding your own business (and “business” is one of those fancy terms they use in the theatah, correct?). Chances are, you have bigger roles on other stages, or will have, before your acting career is over.

Those of you who know me may naturally be asking, so WTF (as they say these days) is he talking about? I’m going to have fun with this, hearing your wheels turn, trying to figure out what the situation is -- and knowing that you just might be wrong! But if I told you, you might miss the message here.

Actually, if any of us look over our “credits” objectively, there are probably multiple situations like this in our lives, which are clues to our patterns. I think we all have them, playing similar roles over and over again. That’s a whole ‘nuther program – in fact, I’ve posted about that before.

In the olden days of TV, stations didn’t stay on the air all night, or didn’t have real programming after a certain hour. It might stop at 1 a.m., and they’d either sign off or run a “test pattern” all night, until it was time to start the broadcast day again. When that happened, they usually began with a “sermonette” – a short religious, spiritual or philosophical message, and then launched into regular programming.

So that’s what I’m doing here. Sermonette over -- time to return to Christmas shopping, the Middle East, Pacquiao-Marquez, the Fiscal Cliff…and, of course, the Mayans. Have a great day (and let’s enjoy those we have left, LOL).