Let Oscar Be Oscar

I grew up in an era when there were certain TV events you just had to watch every year. There was virtually no discussion about it. If you didn’t watch them, you might even find yourself shunned as a weirdo or a Communist or something. The World Series. The Rose Parade. The Super Bowl, The Miss America Pageant, and the State of the Union address (times HAVE changed, haven’t they?). But at the top of the list, at least as I recall, was the Oscars.

Was that the original awards show? Seems like it. I could be wrong, but I think it was the Oscars that inspired almost every business or professional association to hold an awards event. I attended one for my profession in Beverly Hills where they gave out 45 awards, and all the winners, including me,  had to give speeches on stage after picking up the gold things. Unlike the Oscars, some of the lesser awards, like mine,  were bestowed at the end of the long evening ceremony. Mine was almost the last, and most of the audience had left, so my speech was short. I should have offered to take the few remaining in the hall out to breakfast. I could easily have afforded it.

There have been big changes in the movie business. In the old days, it seemed they showed the top films at any time of the year. Now  almost all are crammed in to the last quarter, to drive the audience into theaters and to be fresh in the minds of Academy members, who do the voting. As with major elections, there are primaries and such. I used to live in Palm Springs, where the International Film Festival took on the role of what I call the Iowa caucuses of the movie biz, as it starts the first few days in January. Close on its heels are the Golden Globes, the DGA and SAG awards, and in the UK, the BAFTAs.

The Oscar ceremony, though, is still the big one. But the Academy better not take this for granted. In the past, it seemed like we could always count on Bob Hope to emcee, but then they started changing hosts more frequently. This time around, the forces of PC got to comedian Kevin Hart, and he bowed out. Perhaps because hosting the Oscars is a no-win situation, the show is now going host-less. And then here was  the proposed “blacking out” of some of the more technical awards by presenting them during commercial breaks. A vigorous protest forced the shelving of that idea.

This is a show I’d like to see keep its “must watch” status. Look, it survived Sacheen Littlefeather, the streaker and his “shortcomings,” Sally Field’s “You like me!” a musical number about female body parts, even an Oscar announced for the wrong recipient. But the Academy doesn’t need to fix what isn’t broken.

Those Closet Skeletons

Last week in this space I talked about the reported misdeeds of the top elected officers in Virginia – things they admitted to doing or were “credibly,” as the terminology goes these days -- alleged to have done. After my post, I joked to a friend that under modern standards, I couldn’t be elected dogcatcher (and I mean no disrespect to dogcatchers).

So what did I do? Well it wasn’t a crime, nobody was physically injured or bullied, it wasn’t sexual or blasphemous, and no property was stolen or destroyed. It was a comedic skit. Nobody, as I remember, even expressed offense at the time. But it was in really bad taste, the subject matter wasn’t funny, and I should have known better. Am I now going to tell you what it was? No, as I’m not asking for your money nor your vote. And since it was the better part of 60 years ago, I don’t quite remember whom to apologize to anyway. But I am sorry for it to this day.

Our current President has been credibly accused of many things, and in a number of cases, there is hard evidence. So why did he get a pass from voters? Among other reasons, supporters wanted somebody free of the shackles of PC, someone who wasn’t afraid to say the things he felt. 

Just as he represents an extreme reaction to PC, the current atmosphere is an extreme reaction to him. It seems now like we expect our public figures to be angelically pure. But in these days of social media, #metoo, and opposition research, who might that be? Who would want to give up a comfortable private family life to deal with that level of scrutiny, and be exposed to public shame?

It’s one thing to be morally outraged over sins committed long ago by a prominent figure you don’t know. But if it’s about something that someone in your own circle did that offended you, I would ask one thing. The offender might not even know it or may have forgotten. But if you think you’re owed an apology, before you text Ronan Farrow, contact the offender privately, or have a friend or representative do it, and let them know the damage you have suffered. Give them an opportunity to answer and make amends, and in the case of a prominent figure, to take public responsibility for the offense. If they do apologize, you can accept it and go back to your life without having further dealings with them. If that’s not good enough for you , or you believe the authorities or others really need to know. then do your worst. It’s risky, but at least you can say you touched that base of one-to-one contact first.

And going forward, if someone steps on your toes, please train yourself to say “ouch” to their face quickly, loud enough so you know they hear you. Before you pick up that popular modern weapon called public shame, do the brave and fair, thing.

Unringing Bells

I  often wonder: As time goes on, are we more forgiving, or less?

There are seemingly unforgivable sins these days hat carry a life sentence in the court of public opinion, as Governor Ralph Northam is finding out in Virginia. He apologized for appearing in a photo of two figures, one in blackface and another in a Ku Klux Klan robe, from his medical school yearbook of 35 years ago. His clumsy handling of all this, first admitting it, then denying it, then saying he did go blackface on another occasion, when he dressed up like Michael Jackson for a dance contest, has all but done him in politically. To complicate matters, it’s not just him. Virginia’s attorney general, Mark Herring, admitted to blackfacing at a college party in 1980, and then there’s the lieutenant governor, Justin Fairfax, whose face IS black, accused of sexual assault, which he denies. Are all these men, with ostensibly solid records of public service, betrayers of public trust?

At times like this, it’s hard not to think of the Bible, and the case of Saul, who zealously persecuted Christians during the Roman Empire until he “saw the light” on the road to Damascus. Afterward, he was never the same. Not even his name, which was changed to Paul. He became the most prominent Christian of his time, and now he’s considered among the most prominent saints.

Peter, an apostle of Christ whom Jesus essentially made the first Pope, had denied knowing Jesus three times, until the rooster crowed. Jesus knew  it would happen, but Peter apparently did not suffer a loss of status. He is now known as the saint who greets us at the pearly gates if we’re good enough to take the elevator up instead of down. According to Oscar Wilde, every saint has a past and every sinner a future, but I don’t think even Peter or Paul would skate in 2019.

Maybe it’s our media culture now. When such revelations arise, even after time has passed, it’s as if the sins have been committed all over again. Whether he was in it or not, the last mental snapshot many people will have of Northam will be that old photo, no matter what he has done with his life or career since.

Please understand that I am not apologizing for nor absolving anyone of anything here. But for me, it’s a reminder that all of us, even young people, need to be careful of the bells we ring, as that sound may never fade away. The new Puritanism has arrived – or maybe the old one just never quite left.