Friday, September 19, 2008

Barracuda Calls

I can't help myself. Sarah Palin is drop-dead gorgeous. As long as you don't have to listen to her.

The cheekbones are just exquisite. But they'd be obscured by the necessary addition of duct tape.

The governor's voice makes nails on a blackboard sound like the New York Philharmonic. Now, look, I know I'm being unfair. God knows, Eleanor Roosevelt was nothing in the voice quality department, either. But would you really want to listen to Sarah Palin deliver a State of the Union address, which she may have to do someday? Don't get me started on what the content of such a speech might be. I'm just talking about the sound here. It's purely superficial.

I notice that any number of women are wearing Sarah glasses. I think I saw one of the Weather Channel meteorologists wearing them on the night her contact lenses may have been uncomfortable. The stock market may be having its problems, but find out who makes those and invest. The stock will either take a big jump or a big drop Nov. 5.

But whatever you do, ladies, please don't try to sound like Sarah. Leave that to Tina Fey.

There, now I've said it.

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