Selfie Consciousness

I did my first selfie a couple of weeks ago. I was in a hair salon, and since my regular stylist was off (isn’t this beginning to sound a little much already?), I let an apprentice stylist, who had only recently acquired her cosmetology license, take care of me. While this was happening, I thought a picture of me in the salon chair with her working on me might be fun for Facebook posting, so I tried to take a picture in the salon mirror while I was sitting in the chair. It didn’t work. But the 20-something woman was thrilled to be in the photo with me, and showed me how to put the smartphone camera in reverse mode. Done! So I posted it, and the selfie was well-received – in fact, the highest-grossing post in my FB experience so far. Already, I’m using Hollywood expressions like “grossing,” although that could be taken another way entirely.

So what exactly has happened to me? Do I need therapy?

Look, I am not a kid. I was born in one of the Truman administrations. There was no easy technology for selfies – consequently, the word did not exist – and even if there were, how many of us would have been doing it then? Unless we were headed for a movie or modeling career, we just weren’t raised to think that way.

I still feel a little strange when having to pose for photos, usually during holiday seasons. Most of the time, I don’t feel like smiling in photos, but force myself to do it anyway. Do you know why the people in all those Victorian-era photos never smiled? I used to think, well, it was the Victorian era, what exactly was there to smile about? Of course, it wasn’t because all our forebears were sourpusses. Smiling for photographs simply hadn’t been invented yet.

Maybe it’s me. I like photography, but don’ t feel compelled to take pictures of people. On a trip once, I wanted to take a picture of an iconic Northern California bridge near Big Sur. An attractive young woman was sitting on a rock overlooking the scene. When she saw I was about to take a picture, she turned around and put on her best 10,000-watt smile. I told her to turn back around again and look at the bridge. I just needed her for perspective. Talk about sourpusses.

But getting back to selfies.  The older generations may castigate the younger ones for being too self-absorbed and believing that everyone else cares about the trivialities of their lives, starting with pictures of themselves in every conceivable setting – or function. But motive is important. Is it about making an impression, or is it about genuine sharing? It’s probably a mixture.

A lot of it has to do with a sense of the audience. If you’re beautiful, it’s easy, nobody is going to complain, as long as you have the material to selfie with – selfie away! Most of us, though, don’t have it that easy – we have to think about the interest/entertainment value of what it is we’re posting. If it’s boring, the poster will be accused of self-absorption, but if it’s done with grace and style, the poster will be asked for more, even develop a following.

When all is said and done, I think the “sharing” world of social media is a good thing. It’s teaching us we have a lot more in common than what separates us – we’re just not as unique as we think we are. But it’s also teaching us what to share, when to share it, and how often. Yes, we all have to learn a little showbiz.