On the way down to the Ferrari showroom, I sez to myself, “Self,
get ready for Easy Street! You’ll make a fortune designing Facebook apps – ones
that are really necessary, to block certain things at those times that we’re
just tired of seeing them. I even have names for the apps:
QuizBlock: Haven’t we all had enough of these blessed
quizzes? I don’t care what kind of Downton Abbey character or Renaissance
figure you “got,” what your governing emotion is, what breed of dog you’d like
to be, or where you’re supposed to live that you don’t. Heck, I’m not even sure
it’s you taking the quiz.
ListBlock: 10 Characteristics of a Good Boss; 10 Decisions
You Should Have Made 10 Years Ago, But Didn’t; Five Most Common Deathbed
Regrets, do I need to go on here?
FoodBlock: Why is it that I’m never hungry when you post
what you ate at the fancy restaurant in your city that I’ll never get to?
NewsoftheWeirdBlock: I get it! The world is full of
not-very-smart criminals, or people who insist on nakedness or sex in
inappropriate places.
A few others, included in the deluxe software package:
CatBlock, DogBlock, ToddlerBlock, and, of course, FlowerBlock.
But here’s one everybody needs: BS-Block, to shield you from
pithy, quasi-spiritual philosophical sayings, usually posted in the morning,
with calligraphic fonts, sometimes over puffy clouds, or flowers (but
FlowerBlock may handle those).
But hey, never say never! I’d have to put a toggle button in
most of these apps, because moods change, and like me, you might find yourself
not only wanting to see these things occasionally, but becoming an “offender” yourself
in one or more of the categories shown. (Guilty as charged!)
I wonder if they’ll let me have the Ferrari on a really
long-term installment plan?
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