The D Word

I had a friend tell me recently that one of the things that attracted her to a particular man was that he made it clear from the start that with him, there would be “no drama.” As perhaps you have already guessed, their relationship turned out to be full of it.

One of the definitions of “drama” is that it’s a representation of life – for performance purposes, of course, which means that it has to be enhanced for effect and ideally should end in about two hours. But can we really do without it?

Drama, in its broadest sense, is a trillion-dollar industry. We go to the movies to escape relatively dull lives or at least trade our own drama in for someone else’s for a short period. If you put movies and TV together with books and the music industry, you can see how important it is to us. You may be tired of break-up songs on the radio, but if human beings weren’t attracted to them, what would be singing all day? Hymns?

The news media have figured this out very well. They inject drama into everything, usually employing fear or outrage, often packaged in the same show with obligatory feel-good stories. Interesting how news items have always been called “stories.”

Face it. There’s a part of us that just has to be MOVED. We are constantly told to be living out our dreams, to do what we’re passionate about – a luxury not available to absolutely everyone. “Passion” itself was once a major bad word. But it’s true that if we’re getting paid for doing what we’re passionate about, it’s not a job.

I have always admired those whose dominant note is calmness and serenity. Some people achieve this with religion, or even diet; others may be just temperamentally gifted that way. Me, I’m a drama king, full of visible ups and downs, expressing myself where and when it’s probably not welcome. I have come to the conclusion that I am just one of those people who need more spice in their Chinese food, so to speak, than others. I believe one of our challenges in life is finding out how much spice we need, and accepting it.

People who insist on “no drama” usually don’t mean that. What they’re really interested in is balance. That’s a good thing. Even those who like spice can get too much of it. But can you force yourself to like bland food, just because someone told you it’s normal, or even good for you? Or be serene when you’re just not at that moment?

Which brings up another bad word: control. We give ourselves the illusion that we have it, and in the end, we don’t. No matter how hard we struggle to order our lives, s**t is going to happen. But so do miracles.

Time to take your seat. The curtain is going up for the next act.