Patterns

I’d like to join in expressing shock and shaking my head at the revelations about New York Congressman Anthony Wiener’s sexual tweets, but frankly, I’m exhausted. Let’s see, there’s our ex-governor, there’s John Edwards, Tiger, the IMF guy – I’ll let you finish the list. The sad part of these stories, of course, is the damage, not just to the villain du jour, his family and to potential victims, but to our faith in those presumed to be leaders and role-models among us – how many more hits can that faith take?

More often than not, the volcano of publicity erupts following an event that is simply a pattern, perhaps a longstanding one, coming to the surface – and we all have patterns. It doesn’t have to be sexual. It could be about drinking, eating, shopping, gambling or playing videogames. It starts out as a predilection, then becomes a pattern. If we lose control of the pattern and it gets destructive, we call it addiction. What follows are unbelievable lapses of judgment, lies, and the betrayal of those we love. It’s just very easy to say, “How could he…?”(or she) when that isn’t one of our own patterns. There are as many strokes as there are folks.

Congressman Weiner’s resignation is the right course, simply because no one will take him seriously again for a very, very long time. But I wonder: if his problem had been alcoholism, a potentially more debilitating and destructive addiction, would we have been more forgiving?

Before we play the “ain’t it awful” game, maybe we should reflect on our own performance at dealing with patterns. For starters, how about our insatiable appetite for every last sordid detail of these stories, served to us by cable TV reporters breathlessly expressing shock and amazement. They should be sending thank-you notes to these perpetrators, maybe with an expensive bottle of wine. They know very well how much we out here in the audience love train wrecks.