Nice Problem to Have

OK, let’s get this out of the way first: I’m envious of all those new Facebook zillionaires half my age. What are they going to do with all their money?

First, I hope they spend it! The economy has been in the toilet in large part because money hasn’t been circulating. If the Facebookers, as an example, insist on building ugly monster homes, at least there will be lots of tradespeople with new gigs.

The first folks to cash in will be financial advisers, who will be swarming over the new wealthy like ants. If you’re young, and all of a sudden you have money, you probably don’t know what to do with it, so it doesn’t hurt to listen to someone who knows more than you.

I’ve never quite had the experience, so am not one to talk, but handling wealth wisely involves time, effort and imagination. I’m reminded of the elementary school teacher who told her students that, for one class, they each had $5 million, and their assignment was to write down 10 things they’d spend it on, not including real estate. The kids, of course, took the whole class period to make their lists, and most didn’t come close to disposing of all the money. Adults might have a little easier time with this game, but it’s not nearly as easy as it sounds.

The good news is, that people who literally have more money than they know what to do with often have little choice left but to invest it in ways that do good for others, whether funding a company that creates jobs or setting up a charitable foundation. It’s almost imperative that they “send it out” in some form.

I’ve never fully understood gold as an investment. Gold is the investment of fear. It’s a gilded mattress. It’s pretty, but it doesn’t do anything or really make anything much. Real wealth comes from ideas – the idea behind Facebook, or the ideas behind Apple’s products. Apple stock has multiplied much faster than gold did, even at the height of the recession.

China has made lots of money putting together products that people want – but many of the ideas for those products have come from the United States. As long as we keep coming up with ideas, we can dig ourselves out of our current financial hole.

But I digress. I’m still envious of those Facebookers. Looks like I’m going to have to postpone my visit to the Porsche dealership – I think it’s going to be a little crowded this week.

Not in Line for the New iPad

So you’re in the long line outside the Apple Store, hoping to become the fourth on your block to own the new iPad. Enjoy.

Hey, I have nothing against iPads. I just don’t do lines anymore, unless it’s necessary. If we start running out of food or water, OK. But electronics? I don’t think so.

I did stand in line often, in the past, for movies. It started when I was young, when I lived in New York. The big movies would open, like live shows, on or around Broadway. I was literally the first among my friends to see “Lawrence of Arabia” and “Cleopatra.” For the latter, I had to be there for Elizabeth Taylor’s much-touted bath scene. But the movie was four hours long (it cost $40 million to make, an absolutely shocking amount in those days) and to my mind, was rather slow-moving – so I slept through the scene, a fact I didn’t share with my friends anxious for my review.

About 20 years ago, I stood in line to buy a ticket for “Jurassic Park,” but that was mostly to accompany a friend who absolutely had to be the first on his block to see it. It was good, and I’m glad I saw it, but all that cool creature technology may not be enough to stifle a yawn these days..

Where did all this come from? Advertising, of course, which makes you feel deprived if you don’t have the latest and greatest. But the people standing in line for iPads now are probably those whose parents or grandparents got into fist fights over the last Cabbage Patch doll or Tickle Me Elmo to bestow on overly expectant children during the holidays.

I have a relative who gets in line at 3 a.m. outside his favorite store on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, to snap up bargains. It’s almost a holiday tradition with him now, but I think it’s just a little dangerous.

Impressive as the newest iPad is, Apple fans are going to have to do this line thing without me. BTW, I would think it’s probably wise not to drink too much fluid before you get in one of these lines – or do they have a system for that? Just another thing I’m not up to speed on.