I Want It Done Yesterday

It never fails. The power goes out for tens of thousands, or hundreds of thousands, or even millions – it doesn’t matter what the size of the thing is – and frustrated folks start taking it out on the evil power companies for not working hard enough to get the lights back on.

But let’s be clear. In terms of the geographic scope of the damage, the results of the Eastern weather phenomena this month rival what happened after the Japanese earthquake. Power line crews had to be brought in from all over the country to help with repairs. Some people had power restored pretty quickly; others still don’t have it. Some are without it while neighbors in the next block have it back. All recipes for frustration. As soon as the power line techs get the lights back on, they’re heroes. What were they when the customers were still in the dark? Can’t we cut the power companies a little slack in these situations? Easy for me to say, of course, as I sit in a heated home typing this.

Cut to this past week’s elections. A friend complained about how slow election officials were in counting ballots in a close congressional race and wondered who was running the show. Perhaps he forgot that in order to make things more convenient for people to vote, the absentee voting privilege was widely extended some time back. Here in California, many people waited till the last minute to return those ballots, not because they were undecided about Romney and Obama, but because of a long list of critical propositions. Though county staffs were beefed up way ahead of time, it still wasn’t enough to deal with the last-minute crunch of these mail-in ballots, which take longer to count. So convenience at the front end of the process meant inconvenience at the back.

Even for those voting at polling places on Election Day, lines were long, partly because, at least in this state’s case, the average voter spent a long time in the booth for the same reason – a long and complicated ballot. We’re all shocked by the stories about people waiting in line six hours to vote. You can already hear the sound of some politician pounding his fist on a podium demanding a full investigation of who dropped the ball. They shoulda done this, they shoulda done that.

At least it wasn’t the Middle East, where some voters stand in line never quite sure whether a bomb isn’t going to go off at the polling place. And God deliver us if we ever get a 90 percent turnout in this country.

No doubt, balls were dropped in some cases. But let’s say you’re on the receiving end of people’s frustrations. There’s always someone out there ready to judge you about how you do your business, and how they could do it much more efficiently than you if only they were in charge.

All I can say is that if there’s a new story in all of this, I haven’t heard it yet. Patience is not an American trait.

Naming Winter Storms

I woke up this morning to hear the meteorologists on the Weather Channel saying that in the coming season, they’re going to be assigning names to winter storms. Just like hurricanes, a storm of sufficient intensity will be given a name. This is more than a game. The Weather Channel people feel that naming the storms will heighten public awareness about them and encourage both emergency managers and average citizens to take them seriously, just as they would an approaching hurricane, as these winter storms can cause just as much hardship

I don’t think I have a problem with that argument. It’s about the names: ATHENA, BRUTUS, CAESAR, DRACO, EUCLID, FREYR, GANDOLF, HELEN, IAGO, JOVE, KHAN, LUNA, MAGNUS, NEMO, ORKO, PLATO, Q, ROCKY, SATURN, TRITON, UKKO, VIRGIL, WALDA, XERXES, YOGI, ZEUS.

A couple of things stand out here. Many of the names come from Greek mythology. When you think winter storms, is Greece the first place that comes to mind? Not. When you do winter storms, you’ve got to think Scandinavian, Nordic or Wagnerian, and there are only a couple of such offerings here. How about Helga? Brunhilde? Ulle? Liv? Gerhard? Wolf? I could go on, but do you really want me to? (And BTW, why were the Irish left out?)

If there’s Rocky, there should at least be Bullwinkle. And how are you going to feel when Orko bears down on you? Or Q (didn't Mr. Bond need him)?

If we start this, where is it going to end? Will they name desert sandstorms, or tornados, or hot spells? Or train wrecks and traffic accidents? “The 101’s closed right now, thanks to Tom.” This should be done very sparingly.

I’ve known young couples expecting babies who practically get into fistfights trying to agree on what they’re going to name the new arrivals. Maybe we should quit while we’re ahead.