Naming Winter Storms

I woke up this morning to hear the meteorologists on the Weather Channel saying that in the coming season, they’re going to be assigning names to winter storms. Just like hurricanes, a storm of sufficient intensity will be given a name. This is more than a game. The Weather Channel people feel that naming the storms will heighten public awareness about them and encourage both emergency managers and average citizens to take them seriously, just as they would an approaching hurricane, as these winter storms can cause just as much hardship

I don’t think I have a problem with that argument. It’s about the names: ATHENA, BRUTUS, CAESAR, DRACO, EUCLID, FREYR, GANDOLF, HELEN, IAGO, JOVE, KHAN, LUNA, MAGNUS, NEMO, ORKO, PLATO, Q, ROCKY, SATURN, TRITON, UKKO, VIRGIL, WALDA, XERXES, YOGI, ZEUS.

A couple of things stand out here. Many of the names come from Greek mythology. When you think winter storms, is Greece the first place that comes to mind? Not. When you do winter storms, you’ve got to think Scandinavian, Nordic or Wagnerian, and there are only a couple of such offerings here. How about Helga? Brunhilde? Ulle? Liv? Gerhard? Wolf? I could go on, but do you really want me to? (And BTW, why were the Irish left out?)

If there’s Rocky, there should at least be Bullwinkle. And how are you going to feel when Orko bears down on you? Or Q (didn't Mr. Bond need him)?

If we start this, where is it going to end? Will they name desert sandstorms, or tornados, or hot spells? Or train wrecks and traffic accidents? “The 101’s closed right now, thanks to Tom.” This should be done very sparingly.

I’ve known young couples expecting babies who practically get into fistfights trying to agree on what they’re going to name the new arrivals. Maybe we should quit while we’re ahead.