Instant Advice

Among my character flaws is that I love to give advice! This is especially pleasurable when (1) I have no demonstrated experience in the subject I’m advising about; (2) I can’t do what I’m advising you to do; and (3), and most important: you didn’t ask for it.

Tip No. 1: Buy stocks now, especially in brand names you recognize and that are in a growing industry or involve a popular or needed product. Just for the first few days of the Thanksgiving weekend holiday shopping period, one report says spending is already up 13 percent over last year. The pent-up money is coming out from all those mattresses.

Congress and the President WILL avoid the fiscal cliff! The members of Congress may be crazy, but they’re not stupid. They know that their constituents will be…um…less than hospitable if they return home without having done anything. The tar will already be heated up and the feathers waiting for them. The good news is, when the fiscal cliff is averted, the United States will get its credit rating back, and the stock market will go through the roof, which I define as 300-plus points in one day and more after that.

Tip No. 2: Buy a home or condo someplace warm now, not subject to overly violent weather. Think of all those Baby Boomers retiring. They like heat. And if they live in the Northeast, a lot of them are gonna want outta there after Sandy. I would suggest California’s Coachella Valley, around Palm Springs, where there is underpriced property, virtually no snow ever, and a great international airport if you have to get away. And for most of the summer, it’s a dry heat.

(Side tip A, to real estate people: Tell these eager customers as little as you can about (1) taxes and (2) earthquakes.)

(Side tip B: If you know any Mayans, tell them to pipe down already, at least for four weeks or so.)

As they say in the fine print, there is no guarantee of success for actually following this advice, and this blog assumes no responsibility, yadda, yadda, yadda....you know the drill.


Well, that’s all I have for now. If you need any more advice, don’t ask me. It’s no fun if it’s actually solicited.