Language Arts

I haven’t looked this up yet, but what are the two most popular “event” shows on TV? I assume No. 1 is the Super Bowl, but the Oscars must not be far behind. I don’t think I have missed an Oscar telecast in half a century.

One of the first production numbers out of the box this year was the Gay Men’s Chorus singing, “We Saw Your Boobs” as part of a bit with William Shatner playing Captain Kirk. Whether you think the bit was funny or misogynistic, for me that wasn’t quite the point. If the same number were to hit the air 30 years ago, the plug would have been pulled after about 10 seconds. Now it’s everyday humor.

A friend of mine has a 5-year-old son. She and he watched the Oscars together, and the next day, the little boy was running around the house singing, “We Saw Your Boobs,” which, of course, was less than thrilling for his mom.

When I was growing up, “boobs” were fools, not part of a woman’s body. I have always hated the latter use of this word, feeling that it’s demeaning to “breasts,” but even that word is a euphemism for “glands,” which is what they are, but kind of an ugly word, and not nearly as nice as the euphemism. Curious that we generally don’t have nicer words for our parts, male as well as female, but I think the late George Carlin was in this space long ago.

Cut to Washington, D.C. this week, where Speaker John Boehner, upset that the Senate hadn’t taken action on a bill sent over by the House, called on senators to “get off their ass.”

Another friend of mine – a woman -- who was actually defending the “boobs” song, was more upset about Boehner’s quip, and said that while “boobs” might be demeaning, “ass” was a curse word. That was a new one on me. I think the DBU, the Donkeys and Burros Union, might have something to say about this!

When I was in boarding school, we had to attend chapel, and at Christmas, the selected hymns were carols. When we got to the line, “Ox and ass before Him bow,” there was always a little snickering on the part of some.

My favorite use of this word, though, was in an edition of New West Magazine many years ago. It was a display ad for a public relations agency in L.A. whose name escapes me now, so I’ll have to make one up. In any case, it featured a donkey standing on the stripe in the middle of a two-lane road, and the wording was, “At Bartleby and Goldblatt, we put our ass on the line every day for our clients!”

So where am I going with this discussion, aside from bemoaning the degradation of our language in public discourse? Maybe it’s just an SEO scheme on my part to see if the use of these words will drive traffic to this blog. I’ve already tried "porn" and "knockoff handbags" as tags. Desperate times call for desperate measures.