Slo-Mo Terrorism

The Mueller report has sparked much debate about whether the President has colluded or conspired and/or obstructed justice, and whether he’s a candidate for impeachment. But there is virtually no debate about the report’s finding that the Russians have been attacking us. And we are also repeatedly told that the American electorate doesn’t care, that we are all too busy with our persistent kitchen-table issues.

On 9/11, planes were flown into buildings. Thousands died. Manhattan’s skyline changed dramatically, and so, apparently, did our attitudes about certain foreigners. On Easter Sunday this year, a coordinated attack in Sri Lanka killed more than 300. We can broaden the definition of terrorism to include the shooting incidents in New Zealand, Parkland, Pittsburgh, Las Vegas -- the list goes on. All these things shock us into attention.

But what about the Russian interference in our elections, the spread of fake news and the attempt to foment discord among us? It’s reported that trolls have even tried to spark debate about vaccinations. In these cases, there is no attempt to shock, just the opposite, it’s all designed to be under the radar. The goal is the same, to bleep with our system and make us doubt ourselves. And the Russians are probably not the only actors on this stage. But isn’t this terrorism too? Just slower? Isn’t the damage even more widespread?

The President may blame previous administrations for failing to deal with it. Actually, he may be partly right about us being late to get on to what was happening. But now it’s his problem. Whether he colluded or conspired, we can have a discussion about,  but there is little doubt that he has done virtually nothing about it, in fact, welcomed whatever could be done to help get him elected. Isn’t our President, by sworn oath, supposed to be defending us against this stuff?

We may get angry with the Russians and want to respond in kind. We have to be careful about that, because we don’t know exactly what will happen if they start pushing the buttons they likely have already set up. In the words of Democratic presidential hopeful Kamala Harris, this will be a war without blood, but it could still be a devastating one if it escalates. The strategy must be defense, and we need leadership going forward that makes it a priority to face up to what many in the intelligence biz are calling our greatest modern threat.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes

I was never a climate-change denier, but I always believed that the real changes were way bigger than what the puny human race was responsible for. There is evidence of a great overarching cycle. There was an Ice Age long before there were enough human beings doing enough things to create it. Palm trees did once grow in Greenland, and the places we call deserts today were once moist and lush.


The big cycle is not a nice neat sine wave. We agonize over the rising average temperature of the Earth and the drastic changes we need to make to hold it down. The Earth actually knows how to do this. A Krakatoa volcano or a Mt. Pinatubo explode, and the tons of stuff they pump into the sky can lower the temperature in months. We have no control over these really big things. Even the sun has a cycle, and all it will take is one correctly aimed solar flare and our electrical grid could be fried.



Well, all of that said, the argument that the big natural cycles are in charge and that  we humans aren’t to blame for climate change doesn’t hold water anymore. When there are almost 8 billion of us in various stages of civilization doing what we do, sheer logic says we must be having an impact. The changes that used to take millennia are now happening within a couple of generations, it seems. So why shouldn’t we take the steps necessary to clean up after ourselves and save our planet? We are the frogs in the about-to-be boiling water. Some of us, at least, can feel it getting hotter.



Al Gore’s warnings about climate change have faded a bit, but now it’s a 29-year-old former waitress and bartender from the Bronx, and those like her, who are leading us forward. The congresswoman we call AOC is truly a global thinker, and whether we agree with her on everything or not, she is great at commanding attention and focusing it on what we need to do – and fast.



If the Bible is any guide, the Lord’s patience is running short. As the story goes, when humans were too engrossed in sinful behavior to change, he decided to start over, sending a great flood over the Earth and wiping almost everybody and everything out. These days, we have two choices, it seems: clean up our act, or start building a really big boat.

Space Invaders

I really didn’t want to write about this topic AGAIN, but here we go. Now it’s former vice president Joe Biden accused of inappropriately touching females. In this case, most seem to feel there was no sexual intent, but at least one complained that her “personal space” was violated.

I know what that means, and I’m not dismissing it. But there’s still something wrong with this picture, and it’s not my own gender defensiveness. Under modern standards, as I have said before, I couldn’t be elected dogcatcher. But don’t worry. “Ah shall not seek, and ah will not accept...”


We’ve heard a lot about courageous women coming forward through #metoo over the past couple of years to report sexual abuse by men. But it’s unfortunate that shame has been weaponized. We certainly need to discuss appropriate behavior and what the new standard should be. But the first behavior that needs adoption is that men and women must learn to have this discussion between each other, preferably  at the time of the offense, instead of turning it into a Twitter bomb later. Men have to stop this behavior, and if they don’t, women need to look them in the eye and say, “Please don’t do that,” or find another way to communicate it directly, whether it’s to a date, a celebrity, a superior, a clergyman, or even a family member. That requires even more courage than taking it to the media.


As for Mr. Biden, I don’t think it’s this behavior that is disqualifying. He would certainly make a good President. That said, I do think the combination of his gender, age, and even race may be. Democrats seem to be looking for younger candidates who appear to better reflect them and who have a good working knowledge of the new challenges of the future. It’s not about space invasion.


In the meantime, maybe there’s a tech solution to this. Give us a phone app that creates a force field around us, that we could set at will. The field could be as little as a few inches or up to a few feet, or we could turn it off entirely for cocktail parties. But when it’s on, anyone who enters our personal space would get a mild shock or hear a buzzer. Now THERE's a billion-dollar idea.


I don’t know whether it’s related, but I heard a statistic the other day to the effect that young people in the US are having 23 percent less sex these days. But hey, that’s great news for the environment, no? Fewer little carbon footprints to worry about. Why isn’t THAT in the Green New Deal?

Green Is Not Always Good

When we hear “green” these days, most of us get a good feeling. We think of lovely vegetation, green building standards, the Green New Deal. But then, there is “green with envy.” I wondered why envy has always been associated with a pleasant color like green. Thanks to Google, I didn’t have to wonder very long. In ancient medicine, green was associated with illness – in particular, the accumulation of excess bile.

I admire Elizabeth’s Warren’s passion for fairness, but when she starts in on wanting to slam more taxes on the wealthy just for having stuff, she starts to lose me. I’m not a fan of luxury taxes. Unlike a house, a Rembrandt on the wall doesn’t consume public services (and no, I don’t have one on my wall). Anyway, Senator Warren doesn’t strike me as an envious person, but she is tapping into people out there who feel that the wealthy only got that way because of some unfair advantage. I think luck has a lot more to do with it than most of us want to admit.

Were you born in the United States? Are you able-bodied? Is your skin white? Did daddy and/or mommy leave you something? Did a billion-dollar idea come to you? As for the last, why did it come to YOU?

You may say, I deserve my wealth, it was my idea, and I worked hard for every penny. Congratulations. But even then, there are circumstances. The value of what you had to offer still had to come to people’s attention or get to market, and the timing had to be right. I had a relative who had great ideas and worked hard for them, but his timing was often not so great. Decades ago, he opened a nightclub in San Diego. Business was promising the first week. Then Pearl Harbor was attacked. There was a war on, and the Navy needed his building.

I thought God was supposed to be fair. But maybe he or she (and pardon me for this binary gender thing) is more like a dealer in Vegas who gives you a little house money to play with and says, “Here, kid, see what you can do with this.” Yup, some are given more than others.

Let me be clear: I don’t have a problem with taxing the wealthy more on their income. We used to tax rich people’s income at a much higher rate a long time ago, and they survived. True, some wealthy people are so consumed by greed that there is never such a thing as enough. That usually undoes them.

The key is humility. If you are wealthy and you understand that good fortune itself played a part in you acquiring your good fortune, then sharing some of it may not be as much of a problem. If you’re not wealthy right now, you can either choose to be a permanent victim of circumstances, including difficult ancestry, or, like the dealer said, see what you can do with what you have. I’m an optimist – I like to think that if we look through our cards, we can all find at least one we can play.

Unfair Game

The college admissions scandal that ensnared wealthy parents who used deception to get their children admitted to prestigious universities is certainly shocking, but hardly surprising. For decades, parents have fought  to get their kids into the right pre-school, let alone prep school or college. The motivation? Creating what they believe  is the best future for their children, and yeah,  getting to say they have a kid at Yale. In the recent case, the parents have done no favors for their offspring, putting the kids’ college careers under a dark cloud.

But now, the spotlight beam is taking in the broader relationship between money and college admissions. What has happened for years is a situation like the following: Worthington Gotrocks III gives the university he went to a zillion dollars for a new robotics center, in part hoping to get young Worthington IV (or daughter Worthingtonia) into the school. Suppose the son or daughter is actually qualified to do so, and his or her application and that of an equally qualified disadvantaged or minority kid land on the admission officer’s desk. Who do you think might get a second look?

It’s not fair, but like it or not, it has been part of the business model, especially for private institutions, for a long time. But the donations of the wealthy may actually have helped make them the places that students are clamoring to get into now. In the case of the Gotrocks Robotics Center, all interested students at the school will have access to it, regardless of gender, race, or socioeconomic status. So there is actually a cost-benefit ratio to consider here.

OK, full disclosure: I went to an Ivy League university myself, but for what it’s worth, I was pleased to see a 60 Minutes story recently about how the school is affirmatively recruiting disadvantaged and minority young people to create a more diverse student body. The good news is my alma mater is not alone in such efforts.

That said, universities will be under intense pressure now to keep the development office as far away as possible from the admissions office, and will likely have to match the FBI in application fact-checking. Will that produce an even playing field? Chances are the field is already named after somebody who donated the money to pay for it. 

At the end of the day, though, the message for young people is this: Going to Yale or USC doesn’t guarantee anyone a successful life, nor does going to Podunk State deny anyone such a life. Fairness is elusive, and in the end, most of us are forced to play with the cards we are dealt. And we are probably not going to stop money from talking. It’s all about what the wealthy make it say, and who is listening.

Keep It Simple, AOC

By now you may recognize the acronym for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the youngest new member of Congress, who has burst upon the scene not only with her shocking upset election victory in New York, but with her current role as the face of the Green New Deal. Of course it’s not just her face – she is sharing the spotlight, at least technically, with a fellow Democrat, veteran Senator Ed Markey of Massachusetts -- and hey, don’t say, “Ed Who?”

So what is the Green New Deal? At its core, it seems to be about emergency measures related to climate change, such as getting the US completely off of fossil fuels within 10 years. But wait, there’s more, including digitizing the country’s power grid, creating a high-speed rail network, changing farming practices to minimize…er…cow emissions (is that still in there?) and did I mention eliminating air travel? GND supporters have been tossing other stuff in the stew, like reducing income inequality, providing affordable health care for all, jobs at fair wages, and perhaps making higher education free. I’m not sure about what’s in and what’s out at the moment.

If I sound a little skeptical, though, it’s only because I think focus is important. When it comes to multiple goals, we can walk and chew gum at the same time, but THAT many pieces of gum? Success will mean prioritizing a few of the most doable and impactful things and making the same kind of commitment that JFK made to putting a man on the moon within a decade. That was an easy one to sell to the public. There was competition and romance in it – a lot more than in keeping Earth’s average temperature down. But when you propose drastic changes in lifestyles and business models, sales will indeed be your first job.

Remember the Occupy movement? It made a lot of noise but didn’t really change things. Perhaps one of the reasons was that every protester in the Occupy crowds seemed to have a separate agenda, There’s merit in picking one or two key goals and beating them absolutely to death. The Republicans have been much better at this than the Democrats.

Also, this is America, there is a need for a snappy slogan. What does our history tell us? Don’t Tread on Me. 54-40 or Fight. Remember the Maine. A Chicken in Every Pot. Loose Lips Sink Ships. Whip Inflation Now. Just Say No. Mission Accomplished (OK, well, not all of them work, but you get the idea).

Dominus Vobiscum

Child sexual abuse is the earthquake that has shaken the Catholic Church to its foundations, but will the Church collapse  – and should it? Pope Francis recently held a summit on the abuse issue at the Vatican. While the result is essentially a series of promises to deal with this problem, it is not enough for  abuse victims, who feel there are no real specifics for action. Is the Pope trying to lead the Church forward, or is he simply playing catch-up?

I was raised in Catholicism, and though I no longer practice it, I believe the pontiff to be genuine in his intentions. Like many large organizations, including corporations and public agencies, the Catholic Church, for decades, and even for centuries, has kept  its dark side hidden within the family. There are plenty of bad priests, and plenty of higher-ups in the Church who have known full well what’s been going on. Yes, the sins must be revealed, the bad eggs thrown out, and the victims compensated. Then what?

Perhaps the required pastoral vow of celibacy is the problem. Those who vow to be celibate are shutting off part of their humanity for a higher purpose. That may be admirable for those who can keep such a commitment, but the level of abuse shows that there are a great many who can’t.

The question arises, would the abuse of children stop, or at least decrease, if Catholic priests were allowed to marry? The worry for Catholicism is, would the Church still be the Church if the current practice were changed? This is above my pay grade, so to speak, so I’m not going to debate that here, except to say that I am old enough to remember that the Masses I attended as a child were delivered almost entirely in Latin. The Church gave that one up and still managed to survive. In the case of sexual abuses committed by those in clerical authority, we are learning that this problem is by no means confined to the Catholic Church.

As for Pope Francis, it may appear that he is coming at this too little too late, and we may well ask, over his long service in various Church posts, what he knew and when he knew it. The necessary reforms may not happen with the speed that some are insisting on, but they have to start someplace, and Francis is trying to turn a really big ship around in the middle of the ocean. We must also remember that there are millions more involved here than just abusers and victims: the many millions of Catholics in the middle who have a say in what happens, too.

A Small Lenten Sacrifice

It didn’t quite work as a New Year’s resolution, but I have another shot. I’m giving up Facebook for Lent. Not that I’m especially religious, but it seems like a good opportunity.

Just so you understand, it will be far from a hard FBexit. No plugs are being pulled, no account suspended, and I won’t be silent in groups I belong to. I will see all notifications and respond to PMs – I never turn down a chat or a heads-up. I will also continue to post these weekly blogs and podcasts. But general posting, commenting and news feed browsing will be kept to a minimum, and I won’t be checking the phone all day in idle moments (of which there are far too many). The goal is to restore an FB/life balance. It’s a personal experiment.

I had considered an account cancellation earlier because of all the stories about what Mr. Z. was doing with our data. But I’m a bit of a performer and need a certain amount of attention, so I’m staying.

On Facebook, I have relatively few friends, but the quality is very high. Some are sweet. Some are angry. Others are a little profane. Still others go overboard on memes And there are some really brilliant writers and artists.  But nobody is trivial!

I have found myself living in others’ lives a little too much, envying those who seem to have made better choices than I, and being frustrated that I can’t do more for  people in worse circumstances than mine (but believe me, if I come into great wealth, I know exactly which friends to help financially, at least as much as the IRS permits).

So we’ll see what happens here. BTW, I did think about just taking a break with no announcement, because who really cares anyway? That said, now that it’s out, I have a commitment to live up to to. I will be proud of myself if I make it to April Fool’s Day, and I’ll certainly look like one if I don’t, right?

But hey, if Lent is too heavy a concept, let’s just call it Spring Break.

Let Oscar Be Oscar

I grew up in an era when there were certain TV events you just had to watch every year. There was virtually no discussion about it. If you didn’t watch them, you might even find yourself shunned as a weirdo or a Communist or something. The World Series. The Rose Parade. The Super Bowl, The Miss America Pageant, and the State of the Union address (times HAVE changed, haven’t they?). But at the top of the list, at least as I recall, was the Oscars.

Was that the original awards show? Seems like it. I could be wrong, but I think it was the Oscars that inspired almost every business or professional association to hold an awards event. I attended one for my profession in Beverly Hills where they gave out 45 awards, and all the winners, including me,  had to give speeches on stage after picking up the gold things. Unlike the Oscars, some of the lesser awards, like mine,  were bestowed at the end of the long evening ceremony. Mine was almost the last, and most of the audience had left, so my speech was short. I should have offered to take the few remaining in the hall out to breakfast. I could easily have afforded it.

There have been big changes in the movie business. In the old days, it seemed they showed the top films at any time of the year. Now  almost all are crammed in to the last quarter, to drive the audience into theaters and to be fresh in the minds of Academy members, who do the voting. As with major elections, there are primaries and such. I used to live in Palm Springs, where the International Film Festival took on the role of what I call the Iowa caucuses of the movie biz, as it starts the first few days in January. Close on its heels are the Golden Globes, the DGA and SAG awards, and in the UK, the BAFTAs.

The Oscar ceremony, though, is still the big one. But the Academy better not take this for granted. In the past, it seemed like we could always count on Bob Hope to emcee, but then they started changing hosts more frequently. This time around, the forces of PC got to comedian Kevin Hart, and he bowed out. Perhaps because hosting the Oscars is a no-win situation, the show is now going host-less. And then here was  the proposed “blacking out” of some of the more technical awards by presenting them during commercial breaks. A vigorous protest forced the shelving of that idea.

This is a show I’d like to see keep its “must watch” status. Look, it survived Sacheen Littlefeather, the streaker and his “shortcomings,” Sally Field’s “You like me!” a musical number about female body parts, even an Oscar announced for the wrong recipient. But the Academy doesn’t need to fix what isn’t broken.

Those Closet Skeletons

Last week in this space I talked about the reported misdeeds of the top elected officers in Virginia – things they admitted to doing or were “credibly,” as the terminology goes these days -- alleged to have done. After my post, I joked to a friend that under modern standards, I couldn’t be elected dogcatcher (and I mean no disrespect to dogcatchers).

So what did I do? Well it wasn’t a crime, nobody was physically injured or bullied, it wasn’t sexual or blasphemous, and no property was stolen or destroyed. It was a comedic skit. Nobody, as I remember, even expressed offense at the time. But it was in really bad taste, the subject matter wasn’t funny, and I should have known better. Am I now going to tell you what it was? No, as I’m not asking for your money nor your vote. And since it was the better part of 60 years ago, I don’t quite remember whom to apologize to anyway. But I am sorry for it to this day.

Our current President has been credibly accused of many things, and in a number of cases, there is hard evidence. So why did he get a pass from voters? Among other reasons, supporters wanted somebody free of the shackles of PC, someone who wasn’t afraid to say the things he felt. 

Just as he represents an extreme reaction to PC, the current atmosphere is an extreme reaction to him. It seems now like we expect our public figures to be angelically pure. But in these days of social media, #metoo, and opposition research, who might that be? Who would want to give up a comfortable private family life to deal with that level of scrutiny, and be exposed to public shame?

It’s one thing to be morally outraged over sins committed long ago by a prominent figure you don’t know. But if it’s about something that someone in your own circle did that offended you, I would ask one thing. The offender might not even know it or may have forgotten. But if you think you’re owed an apology, before you text Ronan Farrow, contact the offender privately, or have a friend or representative do it, and let them know the damage you have suffered. Give them an opportunity to answer and make amends, and in the case of a prominent figure, to take public responsibility for the offense. If they do apologize, you can accept it and go back to your life without having further dealings with them. If that’s not good enough for you , or you believe the authorities or others really need to know. then do your worst. It’s risky, but at least you can say you touched that base of one-to-one contact first.

And going forward, if someone steps on your toes, please train yourself to say “ouch” to their face quickly, loud enough so you know they hear you. Before you pick up that popular modern weapon called public shame, do the brave and fair, thing.

Unringing Bells

I  often wonder: As time goes on, are we more forgiving, or less?

There are seemingly unforgivable sins these days hat carry a life sentence in the court of public opinion, as Governor Ralph Northam is finding out in Virginia. He apologized for appearing in a photo of two figures, one in blackface and another in a Ku Klux Klan robe, from his medical school yearbook of 35 years ago. His clumsy handling of all this, first admitting it, then denying it, then saying he did go blackface on another occasion, when he dressed up like Michael Jackson for a dance contest, has all but done him in politically. To complicate matters, it’s not just him. Virginia’s attorney general, Mark Herring, admitted to blackfacing at a college party in 1980, and then there’s the lieutenant governor, Justin Fairfax, whose face IS black, accused of sexual assault, which he denies. Are all these men, with ostensibly solid records of public service, betrayers of public trust?

At times like this, it’s hard not to think of the Bible, and the case of Saul, who zealously persecuted Christians during the Roman Empire until he “saw the light” on the road to Damascus. Afterward, he was never the same. Not even his name, which was changed to Paul. He became the most prominent Christian of his time, and now he’s considered among the most prominent saints.

Peter, an apostle of Christ whom Jesus essentially made the first Pope, had denied knowing Jesus three times, until the rooster crowed. Jesus knew  it would happen, but Peter apparently did not suffer a loss of status. He is now known as the saint who greets us at the pearly gates if we’re good enough to take the elevator up instead of down. According to Oscar Wilde, every saint has a past and every sinner a future, but I don’t think even Peter or Paul would skate in 2019.

Maybe it’s our media culture now. When such revelations arise, even after time has passed, it’s as if the sins have been committed all over again. Whether he was in it or not, the last mental snapshot many people will have of Northam will be that old photo, no matter what he has done with his life or career since.

Please understand that I am not apologizing for nor absolving anyone of anything here. But for me, it’s a reminder that all of us, even young people, need to be careful of the bells we ring, as that sound may never fade away. The new Puritanism has arrived – or maybe the old one just never quite left.

Reel Life

Many of us are thinking about movies, now that the Oscar nominations are out. Personally, I don’t care about the nomination count, who or what was snubbed, not even what  racial or ethnic groups were slighted. I just like movies. But a couple of months ago, I read a blog by a very successful businessman who said one of the secrets of his success was not wasting time watching films.

We all know that movies represent an escape, but are they a waste of time? Some more than others, of course. At their best, though, they can teach in a way that other media can’t. History, for instance. The Roman Empire, British royalty through the centuries. The Civil War (and every other war we can think of). Presidential assassinations. The Great Depression and the Dust Bowl, and lately, even Brexit. Yes, they distort and often play fast and loose with the facts, but even when they get things wrong, movies can still inspire us to do our own fact-checking on the subject involved.

Speaking of taking us places, that’s what foreign films do. I remember attending a film festival and seeing an entry from Burkina Faso. Where on Earth is that? I had to look it up – turns out it’s in Africa. It showed me through drama what it’s like to live there, and how the people think and communicate, in a special way that even traveling there might not reveal.

We all know that movies teach us fashion and lifestyle. The downside is that the perfect folks we see on screen often impose unrealistic expectations on us. So maybe the upside is, we take better care of ourselves. I remember that when I moved from the East Coast to Southern California, it seemed like everybody might have been a movie star.

In another sphere, movies can actually teach us how to feel. I have been convinced that most people are not born with empathy or compassion, and even if some of us were, we may not know how they work until we see them demonstrated in a movie. We learn about ourselves: what makes us laugh, or cry, or afraid.

On a public radio show I like, they have an occasional segment with a woman who says that movies are her church. I get that. I grew up in New York City and remember when movie theaters were like cathedrals, not like today’s megaplexes. The Loew’s theater on East 72^nd Street had a fancy baroque interior with pinpoint lights like stars on the ceiling, and what looked like actual clouds moving across the sky. Sometimes that was more entertaining than the movie.

By that successful businessman’s standards, I guess I must be a miserable failure, but if it’s because I spend too much time at the movies, I think I can live with it.

Security Risks

How many times has our President talked about creating jobs? But on his watch, some 800 thousand federal workers, at this writing, find themselves unable to do theirs, at least temporarily, due to the government shutdown. Of course, some have been required to work without pay. Essential workers, they’re called. Excuse me, but there’s another name for that job status. If I were forced to work for free indefinitely, what might my attitude be toward that  job, however essential it is? How secure might I feel about my life going forward?

The President would like us to think of him as a champion of security by holding out for his border wall. Yes, it would protect us from a few gang members, drug importers, and the odd terrorist or two, among thousands of Central American women and children seeking to get away from such people back home. But what about the bad guys who come here through legal ports of entry every day? Or those who were born here and live here already? Pardon me for engaging in what-about-ism, but…well?

For someone so concerned about security, the President, his associates, and even members of his family, seem much too cozy with powerful figures in Russia. What kinds of security risks are involved there, and how did we used to handle them? Just go back a few decades, when Red was not a good political color. Consider what happened to Americans who took too much of an interest in the USSR, went to the wrong meetings, or hung out with what were thought of as the wrong friends or colleagues? What happened to those Americans who were found to have acted as agents for Soviet Russia? It was a bit more than just a few years in prison. And there were no cable interviews or book deals at the end of that road.

I wish we would have been more focused in recent years on building a cyber wall rather than a steel or concrete one. These days we have to be careful not to get too belligerent with our adversaries. I worry that all they have to do is click once, and it’s lights out here.

As for walls, I heard one wag on a British radio talk show who said he favored a US border wall, but not one limited to the border with Mexico. Put it around the whole thing, he said, not to keep foreigners out, but to keep Americans in. Sounds like we have an image problem with some folks right now, ya think?

The President we put in office not only represents us, but, whether we like it or not, defines us too -- something to keep in mind as we pick the next one.

R.I.P. Brûlée

After some 18 years with him, we knew the time was getting close, and it finally arrived a few days before Christmas, when Brûlée the cat collapsed on the living room carpet and died a short time later.

The calculation of a cat’s age in human years varies, depending on the veterinarian. One we know (not Brûlée’s doc) said that for the first two years, the animal gets the equivalent of 25 human years, and it’s four human years per cat year after that, which would have made Brulee 90, though his actual vet felt it was closer to 100.

My wife and I got Brûlée from the animal shelter in July of 2001, when he was said to be about nine months old. We had an early indication of what we were getting into when, on the way home in the car, we heard a scratching sound in the cardboard carrier they gave us at the shelter. As we crossed the railroad tracks, a white head popped through a new hole in the side of the carrier. He was male, though we used the feminine form of the name Brûlée for him after “crème brûlée,” which we thought was closer to his coloring. He was mostly what they call flame-point Siamese, cream-colored with orange ears and a tail with orange bands on it, reflecting another breed involved in his ancestry.

Anyway, we soon found that our house had a new supervisor, and we had to resign ourselves to our new roles as staff. Brûlée was not shy about making his demands known. Not shy about anything, really. When somebody rang at the front door, he answered it.

In his prime, Brûlée’s prodigious acrobatic talents entertained guests. Through the use of cat toys, we could get him to leap several feet into the air, even do 360-degree spins. This all happened well before social media and smartphone cameras. What we called “Cirque de Brûlée” would certainly have gone viral.

Now that he is gone, we are keenly aware of daily things we don’t have to do anymore, but still at least start to do out of long habit. Having a cat, as many of you know, can be like having a perpetual human toddler. Sometimes you have to close doors to keep the animal from harm or from causing trouble. Turning on hall lights at night so as not to trip over him in the dark, or step on his tail, was important. And then there was filling and cleaning litter boxes, more of which were needed around the house to accommodate an aging cat. I still can’t bring myself, at this writing, to throw out the last remaining box on the back porch. Finally, there are the daily rituals that have suddenly ended, like my lap time with him as I drank my morning coffee, turning up the heat in the house on cold days so he could sit next to his favorite furnace vent, or having him join us for dinner.

Though we have no children, a relative who’d had them tried to make us feel better by comparing the impact of Brûlée’s departure to an 18-year-old child’s heading off to college. No, not quite the same. Still, we take comfort in reporting to you that Brûlée remained Brûlée right up to the end, which I hope others can say about us when it’s our turn to go.

Baby, It's Cold Everywhere

It’s hard to think of a Christmas season song actually offending anyone, but “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” has managed to do it. The classic holiday tune is heard by some as sanctioning date rape. At first, I was in the “Oh, come on now” crowd, but I guess I can see their point. That said, this doesn’t seem like the best battle to pick.

But it IS a good excuse for me to offer you a little Christmas allegory about the types of men women encounter. It goes like this: It’s holiday shopping season, and a locked car is parked on a city street with a brightly decorated package clearly visible in the back seat. We don’t know what’s in the package, but the wrapping is impressive and attracts attention. Four different men walk by.

The first is doing a business deal on his phone. He sees the package, says, “That’s nice,” but keeps walking and returns to his phone  He’s busy. The second guy, sees the package, says, “That’s nice. I want that, but it's not mine and hasn’t been offered to me, and I’m really not a candidate for it.” He walks on. The third sees the package, stops, says “That’s nice. I want that. Maybe if I hang around nearby for a while, the owner will show up and I can persuade her to share it with me.” Finally, the fourth man appears, stops, says “That’s nice. I want that. And because I want it, I’m entitled to it!” He smashes the car window to steal it.

OK, so we all know that the last guy is a bad penny, but what about the other three? We could give the first man credit for resisting temptation, but he simply had other priorities. The second guy may be the mensch of the group. He is tempted by what he sees but but resists on principle. The third guy hopes to get what he wants by following what he perceives to be the rules. Maybe he’s a nice, normal, charming individual -- or maybe he’s just a manipulator.

So what’s the point here? It’s that to face the modern world as realists, women must prepare themselves ahead of time for how they are going to respond to any of the kinds of men crossing their path, and there are certainly more than these four. There are good ones out there. Men, for their part, can ask themselves what a real man might appreciates in a real woman. And adults in general must make it a priority to teach children what successful relationships are and what their role in them will be as they grow up. It’s way more than about fixing song lyrics.

Naming, Blaming, and Fading

You have no doubt heard by now of the drive to remove the Zuckerberg name from the San Francisco General Hospital and Trauma Center. The new building was made possible in part by the $75 million contribution from Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg and his wife. But lately Mr. Zuckerberg’s name is MUD. Or at least he’s picked up some on the soles of his shoes, largely because of the Cambridge Analytica scandal and the seemingly cavalier way in which Facebook handled users’ information.

It’s hard these days to get a name to stick on things. In the San Francisco Bay Area, the home of the Giants ballpark has had three names since it was built: Pac Bell Park, SBC Park, and now AT&T Park. For a while, the late legendary Candlestick Park was Monster Park, after a prominent manufacturer of electronic cables.

Events change names, too. I spent some time in Palm Springs, in  an area that is the site of  many. The now-well-known Palm Springs International Film Festival, for a number of years, was known as the Nortel Networks Palm Springs International Film Festival, and an annual film achievement award was even named after the sponsor company’s CEO. Nortel went bankrupt a while back. The women’s golf tournament once known as the Colgate Dinah Shore is now called the ANA Inspiration. The Bob Hope Desert Classic became the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic, and then his name fell off.

It’s one thing when names just fade into history, and another when history turns on them. The famed Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs at Princeton University almost lost its name when it was determined that President Wilson was something of a racist. These days, many iconic figures of the past have been found to have had unacceptable flaws or were simply on the wrong side of history. Maybe the safe thing to do is not to name anything after anyone. Or, paint the names on with watercolors, so they can be easily washed off.

I have had only one thing named after me – a sandwich in a local restaurant that has long since closed. I didn’t care what they actually put in it, as long as they held the mayo.

Mea Culpa

"I’m sorry if my remarks offended anyone, that was not my intention.” How many times have we heard that in recent days? The bigger question is, when you hear that, do you buy it?

Republican Sen. Cindy Hyde-Smith, just elected in Mississippi, took a lot of heat for saying that if a political supporter invited her to a public hanging, she would be in the front row. It was intended as a compliment or a thank-you for that individual, but as has been pointed out, public hanging has a special meaning in her state, because of the lynching of black people following Reconstruction after the Civil War, So, was she ignorant or was she dog-whistling? A joke? Racial overtones aside, it seemed to me like an odd and unpleasant thing to say. But it didn’t bother most of the voters in Mississippi, it appears. And she did apologize.

That said, it’s truly fascinating to hear or read some of the stuff that comes out of people’s mouths or what they write. They can apologize for offense, but the question remains, what were they thinking? Public radio host Harry Shearer  has a segment on his show called Apologies of the Week, devoted to outrageous comments for which the speakers or authors have apologized. There was one example of a Thanksgiving print ad for a Colorado pizza parlor in which a Pilgrim says to a Native American, “Sorry about all the smallpox, how about a slice of pepperoni?” The parlor owner apologized, saying he was trying to be “edgy,” and offered to pull the publication.

Look, we all have said offensive things occasionally and have had to apologize. We were drunk, angry, or perhaps something just seemed funny at the time, and we misread the audience. I bet most of us have had racist, sexual, or just plain outrageous thoughts, but most of the time, they don’t make it to our mouths or our keyboards. We can apologize for what got through the gate, but that’s just the first step. Our concern must be the pain we have caused, not the damage we have done to our nice-guy or gal image of ourselves, and if necessary, we have to follow it up with appropriate action to demonstrate our concern.

I disagree a little with Jesus here. We don’t have to feel bad about every sinful thought that occurs to us. But we should when they turn in to actual sins against others in the form of words or deeds. When it comes to speech, we may be legally free to say or write whatever comes in to our heads, but as I always say, we are never free from the consequences of that speech, and we would do well to consider them carefully before opening our traps, especially in this world of PC. Sometimes, it’s actually refreshing when people keep their authenticity to themselves.

Accidents of Birth

For most Americans, it’s been a given that if you were born here, you’re a citizen, no questions asked, end of story. The President has floated the idea that he can put an end to that by executive order, even though legal scholars say it’s in the Constitution and he can’t do it that way.

Birthright citizenship is a fairly widely accepted concept in the world. In our case, If you’re born here, you don’t have to wait in line, take history tests, or learn English, you’re American. In most cases, our ancestors had to do the heavy lifting, making the trip here voluntarily, or in many cases, involuntarily. For those born here to decide to put a hurdle in front of future babies who enter the world on our soil  just isn’t quite fair, is it? And wouldn’t it be the worst paperwork nightmare ever? I see no justification for those of us who only had to be born here to act superior. We had no control over it, and can’t take credit for it. We were just lucky, and our first response, one would think, would be gratitude.

I do have a problem, though,  with one legal provision: that you have to be born here to be President. It’s a romantic idea. But why should someone foreign-born, who has taken the trouble to become a citizen, who loves this country and considers it home, follows the principles we espouse, and is deemed to have the necessary qualifications, be automatically excluded from the Presidency, just because of an accident of birth?

Let’s stop this “anchor baby” talk. Heck, we might even take it as a compliment that foreigners, including many who are talented and have contributions to make,  want to live here. At the rate things are going, that might not always be the case.

Hanging Five

It wasn’t exactly the Blue Wave that Democrats were hoping for in the midterms, but it was a lot better than nothing. While ground was lost in the Senate, there was enough of a surplus of Democratic victories on the House side to achieve way more than a slim majority. And with the chair positions on key committees switching to blue, the rubber is off the stamp for President Trump. Let’s not forget the almost 100 women among the winners.

A couple of other things to note: While voters couldn’t seem to resist electing Republicans in a few marquis races, the red paint was often a lot lighter on down-ballot choices for state legislature and on measures. Florida voters, for instance, elected a Republican governor but approved Amendment 4, which will allow felons to vote if they have served their time. And in several states, voters favored the expansion of Medicaid, another decidedly Democratic victory.

One of the TV pundits said something I really liked, which many of us may take for granted. This country has a tradition you don’t find in many others: the gracious private congratulation from the loser to the winner, and the often eloquent concession speech, which not only symbolizes the continuity of our system, but often gives the loser a bit of a star turn, as was the case with Beto O’Rourke, who clearly has a bright future ahead of him.

But we shouldn’t kid ourselves. The next two years aren’t going to be pretty. There’s a fair amount of blah-blah about this being an opportunity for deals to be made between Republicans and Democrats, but I have serious doubts. There are no signs of anyone coming to Jesus anytime soon.

 I’m just wondering if it isn’t time for a new political party now. We haven’t always had the same two major parties, and the names changed fairly often. We even had Whigs for a while. Is the Republican brand fatally damaged? I don’t know what we would call a new party full of honest, authentic, and reasonable people. Might it be Sanity, or is that too obvious? Gee, who’d want to vote against THAT?

 But hey, surfers, if you’re waiting for the really big waves, you better pick another day to go to the beach. Have faith, though, they are still coming.

Peanuts and Crackerjack

INSFB is an acronym in my written posts that stands for “I’m Not a Sports Fan, But…” I have a few relatives and friends who are glued to the TV for every contest that involves a ball or a puck, horses or wheels. Not me, I don’t care. But then, there is baseball. This doesn’t mean I watch regular-season games or go to the ball park without being invited. But the World Series always pulls me in somehow.

First of all, I grew up mostly in New York and was a child back when the city had three Major League teams. I went to all-boys schools, and when the fall rolled around, I simply did not have any friends unless I could talk baseball for at least five minutes at a time. So I started listening on the radio and occasionally watching TV. What was not to like? There was Mel Allen doing play-by-play, and there was Red Barber, too. I went to a game in Yankee Stadium when Mickey Mantle was in the Yankee lineup, with the untranslatable Casey Stengel managing. My brothers collected baseball cards that came with the bubblegum, and so did I. If I still owned those cards, I could buy and sell many of you reading this right now.

What is different about baseball? First, it’s the most American of our sports, and it seems the majority of us have a passing acquaintance with the rules of the game. Baseball metaphors pervade everything, even sex. And it’s one of  the few sports that have no time limit, as we discovered with this season’s World Series Game Three.

I like to watch it on TV because of the closeups on the players’ faces .There is no better definition of the word “focus” than what is on the pitcher’s face before the ball is thrown. The batter’s face isn’t far behind in that department.  And with 90-to-100-mile-per-hour pitches and the ease with which fielders make double-plays, it’s a wonder that anyone gets on base at all. The team managers have it down to a science about which pitcher to put in to face which opposing batter. It all seems to be under strict control. But the level of uncertainty injects just the right note of drama. The pitcher may throw a string of perfect innings, and then the circumstances arise where the next ball arrives at the bat just right, and it all changes instantly.

We’ve heard repeatedly that the upcoming election is a battle for the soul of America. I’m grateful that baseball, a significant part of that soul, is not involved. It will be there whichever party wins. And the way life is now, we will always need distractions like this iconic game.