Peeling the Onion on Guns

The call for gun control and the need for improved school security have been linked since the Newtown, Conn. shooting, but while linked, they are very separate issues in some respects.

While the Congress can’t seem to get its act together on gun control, some states are carrying the ball just fine. The governor of Connecticut has signed one of the toughest gun laws in the nation, requiring background checks for gun buyers, restricting magazine capacity to 10 bullets, and requiring those who currently own weapons with larger magazines to register them by next New Year’s Day. Personally, I would go even further, requiring everyone who buys a gun to be licensed, similar to what’s required of drivers. That would include training and passing some sort of test.

The argument about registration being a precursor to the government’s confiscation of guns is, to me, so bogus and outlandish that it defies description. It will not happen in this country in anyone’s lifetime. Even if such an initiative were launched, the confiscators would have to pry weapons out of millions of sets of cold, dead fingers. It would be Civil War II.

But what about security in schools? The NRA has called for an armed security officer in every school, and I don’t have a problem with that. Many high schools have had “school resource officers” from local police departments for decades – not a radical concept.

And what about teachers or school administrators carrying concealed weapons? Actually, I don’t have a problem with that either, as long as strict background checks were in place. Perhaps there should be a limit on how many teachers or administrators per school would be packing on campus – and that information should be absolutely confidential. True, it could increase a school district’s liability costs, but when the rubber hits the road, if it limits the damage a crazy person could cause at a school, it might be well worth it.

Older men like me often repeat themselves, so I’ll do it here. The Second Amendment is not sacred text, nor is the Constitution itself. That’s why there are things called “amendments,” and even they can be repealed as justices become enlightened.

Gun control is not, in the end, a legislative issue. Someday, for example, alcoholic beverage consumption won’t be a habit, but that will require a cultural sea change. Prohibition, one of the aforementioned amendments, was repealed because it didn’t work. On the other hand, it’s not inconceivable that smoking will virtually disappear in the lifetimes of many of us, because it just isn’t cool anymore. That’s really how the gun problem will be solved, and that will require of us something in short supply these days: patience.

Bait and Switch

There have been disturbing reports surfacing lately about the food supply. Turns out some of what folks thought was beef in the UK was at least partly horsemeat. And that fish they charged you big bucks for might not be what you thought it was.

Look, I am not a foodie fanatic. If it tastes OK, I’ll probably finish it. If I stick a fork in a piece of meat and I don’t hear a whnnny, the packager will likely get away with it, and I’ll never know the difference.

But I should.

Here in California, many of us worry about genetically-modified food. An initiative to require disclosure of such modifications failed. It was a good idea, but there were problems with the measure – I even voted against it because of them. But GMO may be the least of our problems, if they can’t even tell us what it is that we’re putting in our mouths now. Where is Upton Sinclair when we need him?

If it’s part horse instead of all beef, just tell me. If it’s tuna instead of red snapper, let me know. I might surprise you and try it anyway if you make it worth my while. Be honest! Look at how much the organic food people charge for their products. There’s a market for all choices and price points, but nobody will buy your stuff again if it’s revealed later that you lied.

When I was little, I was a picky eater. My mother actually disguised food that I swore up and down I’d never consume, and tell me later that I had just eaten it. I never noticed until it was too late.

But aren’t we all a little old for games?

Sexuality and Reality

 The U.S. Supreme Court has opened arguments on California’s Proposition 8, the Defense of Marriage Act, which prohibits same-sex marriage. Proposition 8, as we remember, was heavily backed by the Mormon Church. Religious institutions have been at the core of the opposition to gay marriage. But what's really the subject here?

Homosexuality is not normal, some may say. But what does “normal” actually mean? It really was never intended to mean “right” or “correct.” It means “common.” And homosexuality is less common than heterosexuality, no question – but that’s all you can say about it.

I would submit that there is no basis for throwing around the word “normal” when you talk about human sexuality, when there are entire websites and magazines devoted to FEET, to offer just one example. Did not Dr. Kinsey establish a long time ago that there are almost as many strokes as there are folks?

Sexuality is by no means a static target. People can have one kind of persuasion at one age and a different kind as they grow up. Or not! What governs sexuality – genes? Experience? Does it matter, as long as consenting adults are involved?

Can homosexuality be “cured”? If you’re trying to tell me that those who practice this therapy are experts in brain wiring, which is what is required, I would beg to differ.

If a certain percentage of non-human mammals, supposedly governed strictly by instinct, practice homosexuality, then what is “natural”?

Is a loving homosexual relationship that lasts for decades any less valid than a heterosexual marriage that lasts for six months?

There would seem to be too many easy answers for moralists to too many big questions.

The Need to Stay Awake

You’ll hear a lot and see plenty of footage today about the 10^th anniversary of the start of the Iraq war. I have no profundities to add. We did get rid of the not-so-nice guy that was running the country and helped establish a more-or-less stable democracy there -- some days more, others less.

Then we have to ask ourselves whether it was worth it. We may not like the answers we get, but the fact is, most of us slept through this war and are only waking up because the Afghan war is slowly ending. Thousands of American lives were lost. Most of the service members returning home have been damaged in some way.

While we may know someone, or know someone who knows someone, in a family that has been directly impacted by these conflicts, the blows were softened to the point where most of us felt almost no impact. No sacrifices were demanded of us. There was no rationing of rubber, paper or gasoline. We weren’t asked to buy bonds to pay for these wars. There was no draft, and many who served had to do it three or four times. Many weren’t young people – they were professionals, often from the ranks of public safety, who were doing the fighting.

During World War II, government did its best to keep us awake. It’s very cynical to say that in these modern conflicts, government almost prefers that we sleep, except maybe at holidays like Memorial Day or the Fourth of July, or the opening ceremonies of the Super Bowl. As we wake up, it’s just like we’ve been in a hotel, and the management is shoving the bill under the door.

There will always be “good” wars and “bad” wars, necessary and unnecessary ones; they may even be fought with machines or devices instead of people. All the more reason we need to be awake – because there are always those who would prefer that we stay in bed.

But that bill will still be arriving in the morning.

Catholicism and Me

I am a long-since-lapsed Catholic, but having been raised in this faith, the election of a new pope remains a story that catches my attention. The white smoke/black smoke thing is no less dramatic now than it was when I first heard CBS correspondent Winston Burdett, in his incomparable style, intoning, “Habemus papam!” My earliest pope, BTW, was Pius XII.

Why did I lapse? Many reasons, but a common thread that runs through many organized religions is that they get too complicated. I recognize the need for the Ten Commandments, but it usually doesn’t stop there. Catholicism added all kinds of stuff about meatless Fridays, venial and mortal sins, confession, penance, etc. I actually sort of miss the Latin Mass, believe it or not, and preferred just going to the service and leaving without having to turn around and greet others in neighboring pews, but that’s a side issue.

The meatless business was kind of annoying. We used to have one of those calendars with fish on it. On Fridays and certain days in Lent, as I recall, the fish was colored blue, and that meant no meat at all that day. If the fish was an outline only, that meant you could only have meat at the “principal meal” of the day.

Once we were invited to a barbecue put on by a non-Catholic family, on a Friday, of course. They served me steak, and I ate it -- probably the best I’d ever had. I was terribly guilty about this, and felt the need to mention it in confession on Saturday. The kindly priest said, “In this case, you didn’t really sin; it would have been rude, as a guest, to refuse the main thing they were serving you.”

“But Father,” I replied in deepest shame, “I had seconds!”

I was often terrified as a child to take an airline trip if I hadn’t been to confession. If something should happen to the aircraft in flight and I was not in a “state of grace,” the only solution was to make a “perfect act of contrition” while the plane was going down. I despaired of ever having the presence of mind to be able to do that, so my knuckles were white on the smoothest of flights.

Don’t even get me started on what the Church put in children’s heads regarding sexuality, especially males. Impure thoughts, self-abuse, etc., some of you may know the drill. Of course, we’ve learned in recent years that many of the priests were not too adept at practicing what was preached in this area.

The election of Pope Francis I could mean a significant shift in the way the Church does business. His humility and experience working with the poor have been praised. Many of the faithful also hope that he will do something about financial corruption and increase transparency, as well as deal more forcefully with the child-abuse issues. And, of course, he is the first non-European pope.

But he isn’t expected to do a lot of reforming in basic church doctrine. The “thou shalt nots” that sent me on such guilt trips as a child are expected to largely remain, so I don’t think I’ll be un-lapsing anytime soon.

Something to Watch Over Me

Kentucky Senator Rand Paul’s 13-hour filibuster, largely concerned with the use of government drones to kill noncombatant Americans on American soil, may seem like a far-out hypothetical. The White House says the President doesn’t have the authority to use drones that way. But that doesn’t put the discussion of drones to bed at all. This may be the first eruption of lava in the coming volcanic debate over drones, which we think are being used only as a convenient means of getting rid of faraway bad guys. Wrong!

The fact is, drones are already being used right here for law enforcement surveillance purposes. More than a dozen states are said to be trying to pass legislation restricting police use of drones. I would not like to be a legislator or an attorney trying to sort out the legal issues involved. What’s the difference between a drone flying over your head and a helicopter? What’s the difference between a drone flying overhead and the street cameras used in many communities today?

Some argue that drones can have really beneficial uses for public safety – looking at a brush fire to see where it’s advancing, which can be a dangerous pursuit for a human being in an aircraft. Or, as I’ve read on the Internet, drones can be used for very benign reasons, for example, to inspect sensitive environmental areas from the air and the changes occurring in them.

What’s really scary, though, is that private citizens are going to get widespread access to these things, if they don’t have it already. You think you can sunbathe nude in your backyard because you have a high fence around your property? Think again. And suppose someone just wants to follow you around for whatever reason? Are these going to be standard tools for paparazzi? BTW, I'm sure it would be fun for a private pilot, trying to dodge all this new aeronautical junk.

One of my earlier posts here was titled “The Privacy Horse Has Left the Barn.” Well, he’s getting farther and farther away from the barn as time passes, and I’m not sure I like where he’s headed.

Don’t be surprised if you hear the sound of bleep hitting the fan over all this, and very soon.

The OOOOOnly Way to Fly?

Next month, new regulations from the Transportation Security Administration go into effect, allowing those of you who insist on traveling with such things as Swiss Army knives, hockey sticks, golf clubs, ski poles, lacrosse sticks and baseball bats to take them on an airplane with you. The changes have sparked something of an uproar from flight attendants, who are worried about being exposed to dangerous implements.

Before 9/11, people used to travel with unbelievable amounts of junk, which made it difficult to find a place to mash your carry-on bag in the overhead compartments. In spite of all this, I don’t recall there being regular knife fights or batting practice on airliners, so exactly what the difference would be  now, I don’t know. Are airline passengers angrier and more aggressive? I could actually understand that, inasmuch as we will still not be able to take water bottles on board and will still have to take our shoes off in security. Have all these rules kept us safe? Have they made us feel safer? Perhaps they did at the beginning; now, I’m not so sure. The whole experience is demeaning, but we put up with it because flying gets us there faster, unless it snows, gets foggy, there’s a computer glitch, an airport security breach or some other issue. As for aggressive passengers, if they stopped serving alcohol in coach, would that calm folks down, or make them worse?

A friend of mine is moving to a new state, and has decided to travel there by RV with her three cats. She figures she can’t take the cats to most hotels. Inasmuch as she has the time for the trip, she may have the right idea. Though I wouldn’t relish the idea of traveling and sleeping in a confined space with three cats (or even one, for that matter), these RVs have refrigerators, microwaves, beds, toilets, even showers. None of the humiliation associated with an airport, or even the inconvenience of packing and unpacking bags and checking into hotels of various cleanliness levels. You don’t even have to be subject to restaurant food in strange towns not in the Michelin guide. I just hope I never get stuck behind her vehicle while traveling through a scenic national park, or I might start behaving like one of these aggressive airline passengers.

When I traveled to Israel by air many years ago, the El Al security people were tough. They didn’t rely on all these rote motions and machines. The trained agents looked you right in the eye and asked you a bunch of questions, carefully gauging your reactions. If anyone was going to catch a terrorist, it was going to be them.

Maybe we’d all feel better if the TSA were able to tell us how many terrorist incidents they’ve actually stopped, thanks to all the pain involved in boarding an airplane. Oh well, there are lot worse forms of transportation.

Do we have a vote for cruise ships?

Language Arts

I haven’t looked this up yet, but what are the two most popular “event” shows on TV? I assume No. 1 is the Super Bowl, but the Oscars must not be far behind. I don’t think I have missed an Oscar telecast in half a century.

One of the first production numbers out of the box this year was the Gay Men’s Chorus singing, “We Saw Your Boobs” as part of a bit with William Shatner playing Captain Kirk. Whether you think the bit was funny or misogynistic, for me that wasn’t quite the point. If the same number were to hit the air 30 years ago, the plug would have been pulled after about 10 seconds. Now it’s everyday humor.

A friend of mine has a 5-year-old son. She and he watched the Oscars together, and the next day, the little boy was running around the house singing, “We Saw Your Boobs,” which, of course, was less than thrilling for his mom.

When I was growing up, “boobs” were fools, not part of a woman’s body. I have always hated the latter use of this word, feeling that it’s demeaning to “breasts,” but even that word is a euphemism for “glands,” which is what they are, but kind of an ugly word, and not nearly as nice as the euphemism. Curious that we generally don’t have nicer words for our parts, male as well as female, but I think the late George Carlin was in this space long ago.

Cut to Washington, D.C. this week, where Speaker John Boehner, upset that the Senate hadn’t taken action on a bill sent over by the House, called on senators to “get off their ass.”

Another friend of mine – a woman -- who was actually defending the “boobs” song, was more upset about Boehner’s quip, and said that while “boobs” might be demeaning, “ass” was a curse word. That was a new one on me. I think the DBU, the Donkeys and Burros Union, might have something to say about this!

When I was in boarding school, we had to attend chapel, and at Christmas, the selected hymns were carols. When we got to the line, “Ox and ass before Him bow,” there was always a little snickering on the part of some.

My favorite use of this word, though, was in an edition of New West Magazine many years ago. It was a display ad for a public relations agency in L.A. whose name escapes me now, so I’ll have to make one up. In any case, it featured a donkey standing on the stripe in the middle of a two-lane road, and the wording was, “At Bartleby and Goldblatt, we put our ass on the line every day for our clients!”

So where am I going with this discussion, aside from bemoaning the degradation of our language in public discourse? Maybe it’s just an SEO scheme on my part to see if the use of these words will drive traffic to this blog. I’ve already tried "porn" and "knockoff handbags" as tags. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Oscarization

This is America, and what we do here really well is the award ceremony. There are few greater turn-ons in life than listening to the crackle of the paper as that envelope is opened, and we find out if our opinion has been validated, or in some cases, if we won our money. 

Almost every professional pursuit now has an annual awards ceremony. Some even do it more often. When I was in radio news, I occasionally had to cover local meetings of community service clubs if there were an important speaker. I went to one luncheon that included an awards ceremony, which must have lasted three hours. Every member of the organization received an award. At the end, they made the emcee leave the stage, so that they could give him one.

Even I have received a few awards (for broadcasting), so have attended more than a few ceremonies. At first, the organizations I was part of gave out relatively few awards, but then they started adding categories – in part, of course, so they could collect more contest entry fees. But that made the ceremonies longer, and in some, they allowed the recipients to give acceptance speeches – BIG mistake in a broadcasting awards event. My organizations did not use the Oscar technique of saving the biggies for the end – they did those first so the TV anchors could get back to their stations for the 11 p.m. news. I was getting a “smallie” on one particular night, so my time was close to the end, and I had to give a speech to those few remaining in the banquet hall. It was about 1 a.m., and not having much to say that hadn’t been said, I offered to take those left in the audience out for early breakfast. I had enough cash on me to cover them easily.

The Oscars, of course, are special. Tonight, I have a rather elaborate party to go to. The first thing we have to do is fill out Oscar ballots with our picks for all the categories, and we each chip in a buck to the pot, which the ballot with the most correct answers wins. This year, it’s interesting, as there are more than a few horse races. And some of the partygoers are serious – they do heavy research on this. Americans don’t like to lose—ANYTHING.

Also for this party, the guests are asked to bring a food item related to a nominated movie. In some cases, this is easy (French bread for “Les Mis”). For others, it’s hard (Canadian wine for “Argo”?). But if you need help, there’s apples for “Lincoln,” pie for “Life of Pi,” or Philly cheese steaks or crab dip for “Silver Linings Playbook” – even Raisin Bran for that one if you’re cheap. I have a relative who’s especially excited, as he’s a James Bond fan, and as “Skyfall” is nominated in several categories, he gets to mix shaken-not-stirred martinis in his very own 007 shaker. I think we’re going to be driving him home.

BTW, the food items don’t always have to be completely edible, they can be symbolic. I remember spending an afternoon gluing peas in lines to a paper plate for “The Aviator.” My wife had to construct an elaborate papier-mache chocolate dessert for “The Departed.” We also made substitutions of edible for inedible items: pate for cat food (“District 9”). I can’t remember what we did for one called “Winter’s Bone” – had to come up with something for Tennessee squirrel stew.

But don’t get me wrong. I love the Oscars. I was watching when Sasheen Littlefeather picked up one for the protesting Marlon Brando, and when someone named Bob “streaked” across the stage, and David Niven made a deliciously British remark about that fellow’s “shortcomings.”

In the end, the Oscars represent an increasingly rare phenomenon in the modern world: the true collective experience. We need to hang on to those while we can.

Wall to Wall to Wall...?

One of my hobbies is listening to the live streams of radio stations in local cities where news is breaking, as I was once a radio news director. This week, I listened to a station in Kansas City, where a huge explosion and fire engulfed a popular downtown restaurant, killing one and injuring many others.

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The discussion on the talk portion of the station’s programming involved not only the circumstances of the fire, but also the coverage of it in local electronic media. The hosts on the station I was listening to noted that the previous evening, the station’s broadcast of the University of Missouri basketball game was interrupted to cover the breaking news. Many listeners approved – but a few complained about missing their game. Similarly, a TV station in town that offered wall-to-wall coverage of the explosion and fire got complaints that popular TV shows were being pre-empted. One young woman texted, “We get that there’s a fire in Kansas City, but can’t we see ‘The Bachelor’?”

Journalism purists like me were shocked that audiences could be so callous about a breaking news event. But one caller on the radio station today came to their defense. “Showing the same fire footage over and over,” he said, “and repeating the same information several times does not constitute ‘coverage.’”

When Pearl Harbor was attacked in 1941, radio stations did not drop their regular programming. Of course, they had no tape to replay over and over, so they simply reported the news they had and went back to their regular programs. That was all people expected. If they wanted a full report, they waited until their evening network news show.

These days, stations could do the same thing, if they wanted: report the information available, then return to regular programming until there was new information. But they don’t – sometimes, ”wall-to-wall” is the way to go.

But why? Is it to serve the public and make sure that the station is there for them in a time of crisis? Sure – but there’s more to it than that. The other part is, “How can I show up better than my competitors? If we don’t do it, will they?” Then there’s the issue of a viewer or listener tuning in for information in an “off” moment and finding only regular programming, then searching for the station that’s doing the coverage  -- which often involves the same reporter/anchor babble until the next hard information becomes available.

And some potential audience members just don’t care. Are they lesser human beings who have failed to evolve? Or are they actually entitled to a legitimate choice?

Different strokes, as they say, for different folks.

Just Another Day in the Universe

What on Earth (literally) is going on here? Meteors hitting Russia? Asteroids flying by closer than our communications satellites? Were the Mayans right after all?

Turns out, Earth has seen this movie before. Our lifetimes are so short, and our historical attention spans so limited, that we may think something is “happening,” but it’s all part of a very big routine, occurring on a low frequency that’s at the edge of our ability to process it.

Meteors have hit Russia before, and cosmically speaking, not all that long ago. Something very large hit northern Siberia in 1908, laying waste to vast stretches surrounding the point of impact. It was truly devastating, but it affected a relatively unpopulated area, so few were around to record it – plus, it was before the era of modern communications.

Something very big created Meteor Crater in Arizona long ago. It’s a nice tourist attraction now. Lucky you weren’t camping nearby, right? Another enormous crater, this one the remains of a volcano, is a huge tourist attraction in Oregon: Crater Lake. It used to be Mount Mazama, which erupted thousands of years ago, covering much of the Northwest in feet of ash.

In our recent past, there was a 9-point earthquake in Japan. But what about the historic quakes that have happened in unlikely places? The New Madrid quakes in the early 19^th century featured two bigger than 8 points in Missouri. There have been significant damaging earthquakes in places like Charleston, South Carolina (1886) and Boston (1755).

Don’t forget the enormous 1859 solar flare that caused telegraph wires to burn. If the same thing happened today, what would happen to the North American electrical grid?

I’m sorry that this post isn’t going to help you sleep better at night. It’s not about defending ourselves against these cataclysms – that’s a little above my pay grade, other than to tell you to have the usual emergency supplies on hand.

But these events occur periodically, maybe just to remind us that on a cosmic scale, s*** happens, and that we don’t have as much control over events as we like to think we do. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

Cluster Fubar

Just in case anyone’s wondering, the “F” in Fubar can also stand for Fouled (Up Beyond All Repair).

Christopher Dorner is dead, as best can be determined at the moment, and that’s a good thing, but Tuesday was bizarre in many respects. It was Mardi Gras day, and then there was that other thing…oh, yeah, I forgot, the State of the Union address.

The Dorner incident, for the most part, did not represent journalism’s finest hour, as reporters badgered the PR people for the LAPD and the San Bernardino County Sheriff’s Office with stupid, repetitious questions, calling on them to “speculate.” On the other hand, one television reporter for KCAL-TV in Los Angeles performed almost heroically, relaying the sound through his cell phone of an intense gun battle between Dorner and the cops. It was historic audio, as one anchor observed.

There were conflicting reports about Dorner being dead and in the burning cabin. “Multiple sources” told reporters that he was dead; the LAPD said no body had been found yet, and that as far as they were concerned, he was still alive. The San Bernardino Sheriff’s spokeswoman said that authorities believed that Dorner couldn’t have escaped, even though the body hadn’t been found. LAPD kept saying it was San Bernardino’s case all along, so why their spokesperson had to comment at all, I don’t know. The media were blamed for running with the dead-Dorner story without confirmation, but if multiple people, perhaps some wearing uniforms, tell you something happened, you’re inclined to believe it, right?

Did the Dorner incident say anything about guns in America? No; he was an ex-cop, trained in all those things. It perhaps does say something about how quickly respected and well-trained people can become unbalanced.

But it must be hard walking down the streets of Hollywood now, with all the saliva flowing from movie producers’ mouths over this one. I have no doubt we’ll see the premiere happen early next year, if not sooner.

The Big Thaw

Spring is only a few weeks away. The ice, still solid enough on northern lakes to support heavy trucks, is imperceptibly weakening as the sun angle increases a few degrees each day. When the ice finally starts to break up and water reappears, it will seem as if it happened all of a sudden, but the process will have started much earlier – we just couldn’t detect the evidence of it.

It’s my feeling that thaws are breaking out all over. Take immigration reform – an insoluble problem for decades. But Romney lost the election, many say, because of the Latino vote. It wasn’t some wild political swing. For decades, Latinos have been having more children than folks of other ethnicities – there are simply more of them, but the evidence is only now making headlines. True, not all Latinos are Democrats, but a lot voted that way. So now even Republicans are talking about immigration reform. Positions frozen for decades are unfreezing.

The same is happening with gun control, although it took a terrible tragedy to spur the breakup of long-frozen positions on that score. The NRA is no longer a solid block of immovable ice, or at least the block is smaller than it once was. Women will be officially allowed combat roles in the military – unthinkable until this month. Will widely accepted gay marriage and the legalization of marijuana be next? I wish the big thaw would extend to tax reform, but that ice is pretty thick yet.

Then there’s the economy. The struggling stock market has actually been improving for years, but it seems like it happened just last week, when the Dow closed above 14,000 for the first time in recent memory. Home sales are increasing; money is flowing again.

Even internationally, I hear ice cracking. Iran has agreed to return to the talks on its nuclear program. Is this simply deception, or is a hard frozen position melting? Even some members of the Syrian opposition are no longer ruling out talks with the brutal Assad regime.

Is common sense actually starting to bloom? I don’t know about you, but I’m convinced something is going on. Spring is a hard season not to like.

Surf's Up

We’ve just had the Mavericks surf competition here in Northern California -- the first time in two years we’ve had waves sufficient to challenge the world-class competitors who come here when the conditions are right.  Some years, the waves are better than at others, but winning the competition is all about how well the surfers catch them. It’s a reminder to me of how life’s cycles work.

There’s a lot of optimism in the air right now, it seems. The troops are coming home, and we could very well be looking at a period of time when we’re not involved in a war. Housing starts are up, and home sales should have their best season in years with some of the lowest interest rates in history – as long as buyers qualify. The jobless rate is dropping; stocks are going up and 401ks are getting fatter. It seems almost inevitable that a down cycle reverses by itself, but we have our part in that process.

Some say that climate change is simply a natural cycle, but most scientists agree that we have our part to play there as well. In his inauguration speech, President Obama noted that the transition to sustainable energy sources would be a long and difficult path. But this transition is already underway, and he said that instead of trying to resist it, the United States has to lead it. He said that while freedom was a gift from God, we have to secure it here on Earth. The Declaration of Independence, to which he referred continually in his address, says that we have a right to life and liberty – but happiness is something we have to pursue.

A young woman I know is taking advantage of a personal “up” cycle. She is recovering from a long bout with a chronic illness, and thanks to the exploding housing market, she’ll be selling her small San Francisco Bay Area home at a substantial profit soon and moving to a Southern state where home prices – and taxes – are much lower. After visiting this new state and falling in love with a particular area, she knows this is the right move for her. I envy her her certainty about it. She’s pursuing her happiness, and if she finds things less than perfect when she arrives in her new home, she’s one who won’t rest until she makes up the difference.

Evolution is an irresistible process, and so, it seems, are the cycles of life. We’re definitely in an upswing, a moment of economic and political opportunity, as the President pointed out. Is this a window to end the paralyzing gridlock in Washington? The wave’s breaking, and let’s hope and pray that he and the Congress, and by extension, we the people (to refer to the Declaration again) have the sense to catch it.

Feet of Clay

Thank you, Lance, and thank you, Oprah. The cat, as they say, is out of the bag. Our world has been rocked. Now what?

Shouldn’t we be a little used to hearing about the fatal flaws of our heroes or pillars of the community? Lance is just the latest in a pretty long line, of course. Many of the recent ones are from sports, like Jerry Sandusky. Politics? Arnold Schwarzenegger. Entertainment/media? Jimmy Savile of the BBC. Finance? Bernie Madoff. Part of us must enjoy seeing the mighty fall – but there’s the other part that yearns for someone absolutely flawless.

I’ve always believed that Human Being 1.0 comes with a “worship chip.” That’s why we invented religion. Atheism doesn’t fix this. If we don’t have religions or churches in the traditional sense, we make them up. The Baseball Hall of Fame. The Oscars. American Idol.

Americans in particular, as I have often said, turn everything into an Olympic sport. If you look at it from a distance, the whole notion of putting singers with widely differing talents – or actors, for that matter – into some kind of competition is a little silly. I knew the Last Days couldn’t be far off when I saw a similar competition on one of the food channels about who made the best cupcakes.

But we do have to have our winners. Those who get close to the top often feel the most pressure to get there and stay there. They know that no one is going to remember them if they only win the Silver Medal. Or become First Runner-Up. Or the last to be voted off the island. So they do bad things – in the case of Mr. Armstrong, some pretty awful things. Once they get to the top, they get into an almost life-and-death struggle to hide anything that would threaten that status. The tragedy is, those within striking distance of the top have extraordinary talent long before they dope, cheat, lie or commit other unsavory acts.

Once they’re on top, the majority of us want to keep them there. Investigative reporters go against the grain. They try to give us the truth. Someday, the majority of us are grateful, but for a long time, we just don’t want to hear it – which is why it takes extraordinary courage to do that job. The criers in the wilderness face scorn, financial ruin, and even threats of death.

When one of our idols is actually toppled, we’re ready to fix blame, but as usual, the idol wouldn’t have been on a pedestal quite as high without our help.

BTW, I write this under the influence of a performance-enhancing drug, which you may have heard of: caffeine. I leave it to you to decide if the performance was actually enhanced.

Crimes of Power, Crimes of Passion

The year seems to be getting underway with a focus on a hard but painfully necessary discussion about rape.

In India, the rape and murder of a young woman, allegedly by a gang of five men, has the entire country debating the status of women, while Stateside a similar incident is shining an unpleasant light on a small Ohio town and the prevailing attitudes not only about women, but about the status of high school football players in small towns.

These days, of course, reflections of such incidents surface in electronic form. Two high school footballers in Steubenville, Ohio, are being charged in the rape, but a recording of another player mocking the girl has gone viral on the Internet, betraying an attitude held not only by him but by others around him. Now, many are wondering whether the authorities are minimizing the incident to protect the football team.

There is always collateral damage with these things now. In Steubenville’s case, the attention being paid to this is earning the town an unsolicited label – not nearly as permanent as Aurora or Newtown, of course, but one that could leave a scar.

Many of us may be pleased with this country’s growing tolerance for such things as gay marriage, and we may think of ourselves in general as being pretty enlightened on issues of equality. But let’s remember that women have had the right to vote here for less than a century. And on a very basic level, when it comes to the question of how women function, men can still display a surprising level of ignorance. Some of them get elected to Congress.

Rape is a crime I don’t understand. I wasn’t raised with any particular focus on respecting women, but it wasn’t a problem: the women around me were always respected, and while society may have accorded them a different role, they were never considered “less than” anyone else. Why there are those who feel this way is something of a mystery to me, but if this seems enlightened, I can’t take any credit for it – that’s just the way it was when I was growing up.

But if rape is a crime of power, and not passion, as they say, it means those who commit it are simply afraid of losing what they think they have or believe they are owed. And yes, even in 2013, we do need to have a serous discussion about where such attitudes come from, and how we’re going to deal with them.

Cliffhanger

Thelma and Louise live. The car didn’t plunge off the cliff; the front wheels are dangling over the edge, and for the moment, the rear wheels are still on solid ground. But the fact remains that the folks in Washington did as close to nothing as they could.

The can got kicked all right, but even “down the road” is euphemistic. I’m happy for those whose 401(k)s are heading up right now, but I still think that as Americans, our faces should be beet red this morning because the Congress and the White House put us through this, and failed to take the smallest of steps to keep it from happening again in two months. China is upset with us today, and deservedly so: 70 percent of its investments are here. The bill also left out relief for Superstorm Sandy losses.

I am not a deficit hawk by any means. It’s clear that if cuts are too severe, we’ll go into recession, but there has to be some sort of reasonable balance, and pain has to be shared. Cuts have to be made, but the wealthy (meaning much higher than $400,000 per) have gotten used to drastically lower tax rates than in earlier decades. The shared pain has to be something tolerable.

I’ve always felt that the economy doesn’t owe anyone a living. Nor does government. Needs change, including the need for certain kinds of jobs. Today’s source of income may not be tomorrow’s. Evolution is an irresistible force.

We all love instant solutions, but it’s very likely there won’t be an immediate bailout. We’re going to have to sit in the boat with our feet in the water up to our knees for a while. What government has to do is at least keep the boat floating. Apparently, that job will be up to the new Congress, not the one we have now.

Cliff Notes

This is how it’s going to work. We will NOT go off the cliff. The Congress and the White House will reach a miraculous agreement at the last minute, at least to kick the can down the road into 2013. The finger-pointing may not turn into handshaking and back-slapping, but everyone will feel pretty good about themselves. The stock market will go up hundreds of points, and the New Year will begin on a high note.

There’s still a lot that’s wrong with this picture. Once the problem is solved, it will be back to business as usual. We will be so relieved that we won’t remember what the folks in Washington put us through. It has happened before, and will likely happen in the future when similar issues arise. We are so used to this dysfunction that it feels normal. That’s the dangerous part.

Just so you know where I stand on the chief sticking point, which seems to be a number, I do not consider those with annual incomes of $250,000 “wealthy.” Comfortable, yes – a lot of folks would rejoice to have that much coming in – but wealthy, no. At least the Republicans tried to put a number on the table. And once a number is on the table, you’d think there’s room for negotiation.

I have another problem with word usage: “entitlement” programs. The E word is pejorative, because it brings to mind people who don’t deserve something feeling as if they’re owed. But in the case of Social Security, for example, they ARE owed – they paid into this system while they were working. That said, I personally wouldn’t be opposed to some sort of means testing. If someone really is wealthy, they probably wouldn’t miss the relative pittance they get back from SS. Since in general, we’re living longer, it probably is time to gradually raise the retirement age as well.

I must confess I haven’t read Simpson-Bowles through, but Republicans and Democrats shouldn’t feel the need to re-invent a wheel that people with real brains spent time coming up with. At the very least, it should serve as a framework for discussion.

But to return to this moment, let’s try hard to remember the pain we’re in right now, and figure out how we can make Washington feel this pain when the next cliff looms.

And BTW, I don’t know what I’ll do the next time I hear someone say “déjà vu all over again.” I bet even Yogi would tell you he’s heard that once too often. All I can do is issue a warning: you don’t want to be in the same county with me if that happens.

Still Here

The solstice came and went, uneventfully, in spite of predictions attributed to the poor misunderstood Mayans. I still have to wrap Christmas gifts and still have to pay American Express. The Fiscal Cliff remains.

One of the things forecast to happen was the flipping of polarity, either on the Earth or the Sun. I thought, maybe something did happen. Maybe Republicans turned into Democrats, for example, and red states turned blue. But of course, it would have to happen the other way, right? It didn’t, but even if it had, polarity’s polarity, after all. I was almost hoping a polarity flip would reverse my moral compass and that I’d be on my way to Vegas right now, but that’s not happening, either.

No, the End is going to continue to be a limited group experience, or for some people, an individual one. I’m hearing this song from the’60s in my head, sung by Tennessee’s Skeeter Davis, accent and all:

Whah does the sun go on shahning?
Whah does the sea rush to shore?
Don’t they know, it’s ind of the world
‘Cause yew don’t love me anymore…..

Then there’s that other song from the later ‘60s, growled by Barry McGuire:

And you tell me, over and over and over again my friend
You don’t believe, we’re on the Eve of Destruction…

(Actually, shoulda been singing that one yesterday.)

Life not only goes on – it’s actually beginning for millions who are being born on this day. They’ll be able to tell their grandchildren that they came into the world on Doomsday. Even Mayans, or their descendants are having babies.

But enough of all this eschatological talk. Going back to gift-wrapping. BTW, if you see seven guys in the sky with wings blowing trumpets, then we’ve got something to talk about. Otherwise, just leave a message when you hear the beep. Thanks!

Final Thoughts?

Remote as the possibility may seem to some – even me – this could very well be my last post in this space if the Mayans and various doomsayers are right. So what have I got to say for myself?

I haven’t lived a spectacular life by modern standards, but it’s been a pretty good ride. I’d have to give it a B-minus. That, of course, is an average. The highs were high and the lows were low, and no, I’m not bipolar and temporarily off my meds.

I’m glad I have been alive for this particular span of years. It feels like I have one foot planted way back when, almost before TV, and the other firmly planted in the current age of communication miracles. And I have friends from a wide span of age groups, which has been very enriching.

There are many things I would do over again if given the chance, like many of you, but for the most part, I made the best decisions I could with the information available at the time. The things I regret mostly involve having treated people badly, and it would be nice to be able to go back and make amends. The only downside of that process is that I’ve actually tried it on a number of occasions, and most of the victims have no recollection of the rotten way I behaved toward them. It’s not like they ever forgave me, they just forgot about whatever it was and moved on. Maybe that’s the best payback for someone who hates to be ignored.

They say that no matter how fine a human being you have been or think you have been, there are always about 10 percent of those you meet who just won’t like you. In my experience, this is another average. I found myself in some places where it seemed everyone loved me to death, and in others where I couldn’t get arrested.

According to the stats page, this blog has had just under 6,000 clicks over a period of about four years -- not exactly viral -- but I’m grateful to all of you who have visited here from all over the world. I’m only sorry I couldn’t help those looking for porn or knockoff Vuitton. But if I’m still here Saturday, or posting from the “other side,” stay tuned. You never know what a desperate writer will do to attract readers.

Mental Cases

First we were talking gun control, now we’re talking mental health. It’s certainly true that anyone who picks up an assault weapon and shoots up an elementary school has obviously fallen through some sort of crack in our health care system. But I’m curious to know how exactly this is going to be fixed.

One obvious remedy, as it is to many of life’s problems, is more money – in this case, to offer more access to mental health services. The only problem is, the potentially dangerous people we hope to control don’t necessarily want more access to health services. They usually have to be forced to take advantage of them. If they’re adults, who’s going to do the forcing? Will therapists get more authority to commit people? What kinds of behavior will cause that kind of response?

In the absence of facts in the Newtown case, which are slow to come out (or slower than cable news would like), the talking heads are filling time discussing autism, schizophrenia and other conditions. Parents of autistic children are already worried that this syndrome is being stigmatized as one that could lead to the mayhem that we saw last week. One of the signs, according to the discussion I heard, is “lack of empathy.” So people who aren’t empathetic, who lack social skills, or maybe just prefer to be alone instead of joining the crowd, may be suspicious? How exactly are we going to screen for this, and what are we going to do with that information? Gun control may be politically difficult, but it’s way easier than this issue, and now I'm getting a little nervous.

It reminds me of one of my favorite lines from a horror movie of the 1930s, in which one attendant at an English insane asylum says to another, “Sometimes, I think everyone around here is crazy, except for me and for you. And then again, I has me doubts about you!”

Pieces of the Puzzle

The call for gun control following the Newtown, Connecticut shooting, while producing the expected backlash from gun enthusiasts and Constitutional fundamentalists, has also brought reminders that limiting access to assault weapons and mega-magazines won’t eliminate massacres. Improved school security is a natural component, though the challenge is finding ways of making schools safer without turning them into fortresses.

There are those who blame violent movies, TV and video games for poisoning people’s minds. And then there’s the issue of mental health. There are a lot of unstable people out there – including people who seem fine today but could go off the deep end tomorrow if their buttons were pushed. The now-viral blog post, “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother” details the struggles of a woman trying to deal with a mentally disturbed and sometimes violent son, and how few options there are for helping him, or even controlling him, short of jail. Civil liberties often interfere with what seem like wise and timely intervention efforts.

While gun control proponents may be focusing on only one piece of the puzzle, tossing all the other pieces on the table in a big heap should not be an excuse for paralysis. It’s true that people kill people, but why should the marketplace make it easy for them by supplying assault weapons and huge bullet magazines? It’s logical to start with gun regulation. Difficult as this issue is politically, it’s actually the easiest one for us to get our heads around at this moment. Adam Lanza’s real mother owned guns, including the Bushmaster assault-weapon wannabe, to which her son was able to get access.

Guns do have their function. It certainly reasonable for those concerned about self-defense to have a means of doing so – as long as their own need is reasonable (there’s that dangerous R word again).

But if you want to talk about the really big picture, why are guns the American symbol of power to the chronically powerless, and how can we change that perception? Once we find that puzzle piece, many of the others will fall into place.

The Moral Cliff

We’ve been spending a lot of time talking about the fiscal cliff, but the Newtown shooting has revealed a moral one. Now is the time to consider reasonable gun regulation. “Reasonable” is a dangerous word, but I’m willing to bet that the majority of Americans know what that means in this case.

As I’ve said many times, we accept regulations in many areas of life. Traffic laws are a great example. They affect most of us, and typically, they are clearly understood. And experience makes them reasonable. If there were a traffic signal or stop sign at every intersection, there would be gridlock. But there would also be gridlock if there were no controls at all. Effective regulation actually makes traffic flow better. You can’t leave this one up to human nature. Liberty is a very lofty concept, but we agree to give up some of it to improve the functions of daily life.

I am not opposed to the right to bear arms, but it should be plain that there is no reasonable need for civilians in the United States to own functioning automatic or semi-automatic weapons, or huge magazines that allow scores of bullets to be fired. And background checks should be required at all gun-sale venues, including gun shows. If we could work on just these issues, we’d be solving a lot of the problem.

Some feel that one of the answers lies in improving security at places like schools. But while Newtown has resulted in great psychological trauma for children, turning elementary schools into armed camps will have effects too. It’s about balance.

In the Old West, it was reasonable for almost everyone to own a gun, because there was a reasonable fear that individuals would be called upon often to defend themselves. This isn’t the Wild West anymore, unless we allow it to be.

I’m tired of hearing that we can’t move this ball forward because the gun lobby is too strong and that members of Congress have to take money from it because they need to get reelected, and that’s just the way life is. But it doesn’t have to be that way all the time. At some point, if you’ll forgive the metaphor mix, the dog is going to have to decide that the tail isn’t going to wag it anymore.

Always the Gun

This is America, home of apple pie. Then there’s the other thing. How much more convincing do we need that it’s time to do something about it?

From a practical point of view, it’s impossible to regulate intentions. People are going to be bullied, or jilted by their girlfriends, mistreated by an employer they’ve served faithfully for decades, you name it. There’s always going to be a motive or, if you like, a trigger, that will make someone pick up a gun and take out their rage on innocent people. In the case of the Connecticut shooting, there couldn’t be more innocent targets than elementary school children.

If you can’t regulate intentions, then you have to move on to what you can regulate: the means. Can anyone today seriously advance the argument that civilians need access to semi-automatic weapons with magazines, and if anyone does advance that argument, how many can seriously accept it? Today! How many blows of the 2-by-4 do we need before we get the message?

Being practical again: Sweeping bans on common behavior don’t work. If you’ve been watching “Boardwalk Empire,” you can see why Prohibition was a failure. So if you want to deal with guns, you have to do things in pieces, and you have to accept that it’s going to take time – but the important part is, you get started. It’s an evolutionary, not a revolutionary process.

We actually have had success at this in many fields. Smoking is one of the best examples. All over the country, we have laws restricting where people can smoke, and there are fewer and fewer places where it’s legal to do it. The fact that these regulations are in place is reflective of the fact that smoking just isn’t cool anymore. Considering that this habit was brought to the civilized world hundreds of years ago, we’ve come a long way in a relatively short time toward eliminating it, but it seems like forever.

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of hearing about the psychological state of demented perpetrators, how sad a day it is, listening to more grieving families, and how we all have to keep folks in our thoughts and prayers. Thinking deeply and praying are very good, but what’s even better is realizing that we can take practical steps toward preventing these incidents, and now, we have the opportunity.

It will be a challenge. There’s something else just as American as apple pie and guns. It’s the short attention span. Will we care as much about enacting effective gun laws in 48 hours as we do today?

Practical Jokes Aren't Jokes At All

I have often quipped that there should be the death penalty for those who perpetrate practical jokes. I never found them funny, especially, of course, when I was the victim. The humiliation – and the rage – stayed with me a long time, maybe longer than for most.

This could be hereditary. I remember when my mother was the target of a “Candid Camera” TV stunt in a New York supermarket. The nature of it escapes me, but the crew, of course, was hoping she’d have a sense of humor and be a good sport about the whole thing. She did not. When asked if she would sign the release to allow the bit to be broadcast, she not only refused, but stamped her foot while doing so. That meant she was REALLY mad.

Many of us are rightly outraged and disappointed at the two Australian DJs who pretended to be Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles calling into a hospital about the condition of the pregnant Princess Kate. They talked to a nurse, who gave them some personal medical information about the royal, and the interview was broadcast. The nurse was later found dead, an apparent suicide.

The incident is being investigated, but it’s hard to avoid what looks like the obvious conclusion that the nurse’s death was an unintended consequence of the hoax. It could be argued that the nurse must have had other emotional issues percolating inside her and that no reasonable person in that situation would have taken her own life. But how can the perpetrators of this practical joke ever be sure that it wasn’t their action that pushed this woman over the edge?

The DJs involved, who were the subject of death threats themselves, have since tearfully apologized. But the CEO of the parent company of the radio station, while (according to the Huffington Post) admitting the incident was tragic, said such jokes were a standard part of radio culture.

As a former radio broadcaster myself, that’s not a standard I’d be publicly accepting. If that’s anywhere close to true, the industry better start doing some heavy navel-gazing about now.

Got Your Number

OK, everybody, knock it off!

I got it. It’s 12.12.12, and this is supposed to mean something. The Bible is full of 12s – 12 tribes of Israel, 12 apostles. There are 12 inches in a foot. We buy eggs by the dozen. 12 dozens is a gross.

Why must we humans heap meanings on things that really have only one? 12 by itself is a NUMBER. That’s where it begins and ends. It may have interesting mathematical properties. So have a good time, but don’t get exercised about it.

Apparently, 12 has lots of significance in Judeo-Christian culture, but there are other cultures. From what I read, the big number in China is 8, so couples jumped through hoops to get married on 8.8.08.

A numerologist once told me on a radio show that my life path number was 5. I read that I’m supposed to be happy-go-lucky and adventurous. I am neither. The description says that I’m a good communicator. I’ll leave that up to the readership here.

It’s a little like astrology. You think you were born under a certain sign, and it may have worked as a pickup line in a bar in the ‘70s, but in fact, the sun apparently travels through two extra constellations these days, so what you think you are, you’re probably not.

To return to numbers, the only ones that have any great practical use for me these days are those in the bank account, the cholesterol count and perhaps the percentage of body fat. There may be one or two more.

But in the end, can at least some of us agree that this preoccupation with the meaning of numbers is all about having too much time on our hands?

Subway Morality Play: What Would YOU Have Done?

For the past week or so, the New York Post photographer who took the picture of the guy on the subway tracks about to be hit by the train has been peppered with questions which are all basically the same: So why didn’t you put down your camera and act like a human being, meaning, try to rescue the victim?

The photog, who gamely submitted to the interviews to defend his reputation, said he was too far away, wasn’t strong enough to pull the guy out and that he was using his camera flash to try to alert the driver of the oncoming train. You can believe him or not, but is all this beside the point?

Newspeople, by inclination or by training or both, tend to perform in certain ways during crises. I had a similar train thing happen to me earlier this year. I was in the lead car of a commuter train that struck a man on the tracks as the train was pulling into a station platform, an apparent suicide. Was I trying to comfort my shaken-up fellow passengers? No, I was on the phone to the city’s top news radio station, where I had worked part-time once.

My wife reminds of the time an early-morning 7-point earthquake struck, awakening us. Did I roll over to see if she was OK? No, she, said, I was on the phone to a national radio network even before the shaking stopped.

So do I have ice water running through my veins? If necessary, I’ll get a blood sample for you, but the bottom line is, I had always behaved this way as a news professional. Someone asked me about this once, and my answer was that when disaster struck, I was more fortunate than most, because I had a job to do.

As has been frequently pointed out by reporters like Anderson Cooper of CNN, most people have no clue about how they might react in a crisis until that crisis arrives. The average milktoast wimp might perform like a superhero, while sometimes those who are expected to lead shrivel up in terror at the prospect of making a life-or-death decision under extreme pressure.

You can go back to the Bible for a perfect example. Jesus expected Simon Peter to deny him three times, and even told him so, saying a rooster would crow after the third time. Peter assured Christ that he would always have his back. But as predicted, when the bad guys asked Peter if he knew Jesus, he said in effect, never heard of him, and the cock crowed. And yet, Jesus shortly thereafter founded his church, naming Peter (Greek for “rock”) its leader. Was that the behavior of a “rock”? Go figure.

To return to that New York subway scene, many others besides the Post photographer maybe could have helped the victim, but didn’t, instead taking their own smart-phone pictures. And then, of course, we might consider the New York Post editors, who, under much less pressure, decided to publish their photographer’s shocking photo on the front page.

We are all very complex creatures, and “acting like a human being” can, fortunately or unfortunately, have many meanings. But judging too quickly can be a dangerous business too.

Chemical Bashar

There it is: NBC reported today that Syria is loading chemical agents into bombs, presumably for use in a last stand if the regime of Bashar al-Assad is up against the ropes. Well, the ropes are in sight.

What exactly are we talking about here? One analyst reported on CNN tonight that one shell or one bomb dropped in a populated area could kill 18,000 people easily.

President Assad has pledged not to use this stuff on his own people. But if he thinks foreign-inspired terrorist invaders are involved – and his own survival is threatened – it’s believed he won’t hesitate. Some say even if he escapes from Syria, there’s little to stop his commanders from pulling triggers.

Of the “red line” drawn by President Obama against the use of these weapons, Senator John McCain said the administration was giving a “green light” to all atrocities short of their use. That green light wasn’t turned on this week. It’s been on for well over a year – and that’s why we have this situation now.

Some critics say the U.S. has been hyping this threat to provide a pretext for going in, just as was done with the WMD stories about Iraq 10 years ago that proved to be false. But there’s a big difference. President Bush was looking for any excuse he could find to invade Iraq. President Obama has been looking for any excuse he can find NOT to go into Syria. Except now, it seems he’s about run out of them.

Then there is the concern that if used, clouds of gas might waft into neighboring non-combatant countries, or that supplies of this stuff might fall into the hands of real terrorist organizations.

To be as potent as they are, these weapons had to be experimentally tested. I don’t think I want to know on what – or on whom.

It’s clear that we all have to keep our eyes fixed on this region, because the next few days could be dicey. I would say it’s not an exaggeration to suggest that those of us who are good at praying better get started.

"Getting" Twitter

Look, I’m not one of those old people who is being dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st Century. I’m all in favor of modern communications. As a ham radio operator, I was texting way before it was cool, as I may have mentioned to some of you. I leave Facebook running in the background while I work at home; I have no co-workers with this sort of a job, so with all its limitations and increasing spam, etc., FB is still a source of company.

I need help, though, with finding much of a general use for Twitter, other than one: for breaking news alerts, or for those who need to get a message out of a desperate place, there’s no question about its value. Or maybe to send an angry message to your member of Congress or something.

But is there anyone out there I feel the need to “follow”? I’m a huge fan of certain performers, but am perfectly happy to just watch their shows or listen to their music. Seriously, do I need to know what they’re thinking at any given moment? No, I can probably wait till their next show.

More to the point, it’s the Internet-age-old question: Does anyone really care what I’m doing or thinking at this moment? Why even ask? I have enough trouble getting people to read this blog. Some media outlets charge money for consuming their content. Heck, if I could afford it, I would reverse the process – PAY people to consume my content. But then, there’s the obligation to actually produce something worthy of the name “content.”

On NPR this morning, I heard of a growing trend to tweet while you’re watching TV. Apparently a large number of us can’t watch a show or a movie without having to discuss it instantly with other people. I’m exactly the opposite. I want the thing I’m watching to fully absorb me, which means I at least have to bring my attention into the bargain – and even then, of course, the thing I’m watching may lose me. Anyway, I’m perfectly happy to discuss the show AFTER I’ve seen it, but not DURING. There’s a reason they make you turn off your phone in movie theaters. And nobody seems to feel the need to talk about what they’re watching in such a setting. There’s no need to turn everything into a giant Super Bowl party, is there?

I hear now that even the Pope has a Twitter handle, and already has more than 300,000 followers, even though he has yet to send out his first tweet. Maybe it will give new meaning to the phrase “papal bull.” I guess if you tweet the Pope back, it might be a good idea not to kick it off with “OMG.”

Maybe the Catholic Church (to which I no longer adhere) will start using some of these platforms for online confessions. I’d clearly need more than 140 characters for any of my sins, but well, that’s, as they say, a whole ‘nother program.

All the World's a Stage

You may recognize that from Shakespeare. While I was in the shower a while back, I was inspired to add a little something to this. I recognize that the image of me being in the shower is probably not the most successful way to start off a post in this space, but here’s what came to me:

We all play parts on each other’s stages. Sometimes they’re lead roles, and sometimes minor ones. The minor ones are difficult, because if you’re like me, when you get on a stage, you want to be noticed; you want the critics to write good reviews about you. You’re tempted to overact, to take up more space or time on another’s stage than your role calls for.

That never works. If you’re smart, you know exactly what your role is, and you say the lines you’re given as best you can. Sometimes, you hear your cue to get off – time to leave the stage and maybe go sit in the audience and clap at the end for the stars as they take their curtain call. It’s all about minding your own business (and “business” is one of those fancy terms they use in the theatah, correct?). Chances are, you have bigger roles on other stages, or will have, before your acting career is over.

Those of you who know me may naturally be asking, so WTF (as they say these days) is he talking about? I’m going to have fun with this, hearing your wheels turn, trying to figure out what the situation is -- and knowing that you just might be wrong! But if I told you, you might miss the message here.

Actually, if any of us look over our “credits” objectively, there are probably multiple situations like this in our lives, which are clues to our patterns. I think we all have them, playing similar roles over and over again. That’s a whole ‘nuther program – in fact, I’ve posted about that before.

In the olden days of TV, stations didn’t stay on the air all night, or didn’t have real programming after a certain hour. It might stop at 1 a.m., and they’d either sign off or run a “test pattern” all night, until it was time to start the broadcast day again. When that happened, they usually began with a “sermonette” – a short religious, spiritual or philosophical message, and then launched into regular programming.

So that’s what I’m doing here. Sermonette over -- time to return to Christmas shopping, the Middle East, Pacquiao-Marquez, the Fiscal Cliff…and, of course, the Mayans. Have a great day (and let’s enjoy those we have left, LOL).